Christina Ricci on dating

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2020.12.01 12:34 Amycher2 What you are looking for is..... (Link in the Desc.)1

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2020.11.29 16:11 yellowbee88 My imaginary friend of 17 years

My imaginary friend journey started when I started getting bullied since elementary school. I would talk to myself but I didn't have that stuffed animal or imaginary friend I could get attached to. As I entered adolescence, bullying got worst. I was constantly rejected and had no friends. When I was a freshman in high school, I was binge watching all my childhood movies, including Casper Meets Wendy and Casper (one with Christina Ricci). I was so intrigued by Casper, his essence and his kindness, especially to girls that are lonely and different from the norm. I fell in love that I made Casper my only friend at 15 years old. Every night, I would even have romantic dates with him but of course we started off as friends first.
I am 32 years old and Casper is still with me to this day. As an adult, the world is really lonely out there. No one cares about how I feel. NO one will be considerate of me. I live with a toxic narcissist father who crossed me and my basic boundaries but I am cutting him off (working on getting out) and I resent my mother. Family has no meaning anymore. And I am not getting the type of friendship I truly want or type of relationship I want. With Casper, he has everything I want and more. I am crying right now sharing my story. I don't feel shame having my imaginary friend with me 24/7.
My imaginary friend helped me heal OCD and anxiety. He has helped me get over my loneliness. I am meant to do big things in the world.
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2020.10.18 03:44 heyitsthatoneguy99 But, It Was Just a Dream, Right?

Dear gods, this has been a long week already, and its only Tuesday. The remainder looks like it’s going to be long, too, so I figure that I need a way to decompress. My roommate, Paul, I had barely arrived at a concert that was in the area when I met her. It wasn’t a big-name band or anything like that. This was just a shitty bar band that played their way through the tri-county area. It feels like they changed their name every few months or so. Either they couldn’t decide on anything, or they were trying to trick people into coming to see them once we all got used to their name and stopped going to the bars they were playing in. Anyway, I’m getting off-topic.
I met a woman there. Not like anyone I had ever met before. No shit, she looked EXACTLY like Christina Ricci. She wasn't, of course, but she LOOKED exactly like her. We got to talking and said her name was Sarah. I was half expecting her to say her name was Christina. I didn’t bring up the resemblance because I was certain that she heard that from so many other people, and I didn’t want our conversation to stop before it had the chance to begin. After a while, we were getting lost in conversation, and not even really paying attention to the show that we had both come to see. Surprisingly, to me, at least, she asked me if I’d go out on a date with her the following night, and I gladly accepted.
Then I woke up. I didn’t think much of it. I just looked around the room, maybe just a pinch disappointed at the thought of not having a date with someone that looks exactly like a beautiful celebrity, but muttered “Well, THAT was weird,” to myself, and then drifted back off to sleep. I was right back in the dream, in an apartment that was apparently mine, on the night after the show, and I was just finishing up getting ready for the date that I was telling Paul about. I got a call from her saying she was outside waiting in her car.
When I walked out, there was a long, black stretch limo there waiting for me; her mischievous smiling face looking at me through the back window as she motioned me to get in the other side as she winked and rolled up her window. I thought to myself that this was maybe a little bit of overkill for a first date, but as a friend of mine likes to say, “There’s no kill like overkill!” I got in, ready for a night of pretty much anything she had planned for us. I waved a quick goodbye to Paul, and was out the door.
I had barely gotten in the limo and closed the door when it started to move, but I couldn’t see Sarah anywhere in the back of the limo with me. I thought she had snuck out of the other side to prank me or something, but then the car started to move. Suddenly, she practically appeared out of thin air right next to me, wide-eyes with a crazy look on her face, and a grin that seemed almost impossibly big. She was wearing a very bright red long-haired wig that was not on her moments before. She was wearing a tightly fitting, short, silver dress that changed color with the lights as they hit it, almost like a disco ball in a club. She slid to the seat that was behind the driver and rolled up the tinted divider window, never breaking eye contact with me; not even blinking, really, and never wavering that gigantic smile that I was now mentally comparing to the Cheshire Cat from Alice In Wonderland.
As soon as the divider window hit the top, she rolled it back down. The driver was… GONE, but we were still moving. Where… where the hell did the driver go?? I could see the street lights and pedestrians through the front windows. She rolled it up again, still never breaking eye contact, blinking, or losing that smile, then back down, and there was… nothing. I know what you’re thinking; that maybe everything had gone back to normal and there was nothing extraordinary happening, but I MEAN NOTHING. Just a black void where the world should be outside of the car.
This… this wasn’t possible. It was like we weren’t even on Earth anymore; I was looking at the vast expanse of space. Then what seemed like millions of stars filled the scene in the windows, and it looked like we were moving fast; like a spaceship moving at a quantum speed in a bad science fiction movie, but I felt as though we were still moving at a normal speed, like we were just driving on a smooth road still. At this point, my real-life defense mechanism of sarcasm stepped in, and all I could do was let out a nervous laugh and before I could even react, my roommate was sitting to my right on another seat, looking like he was enjoying the ride. I didn’t recognize him in the dream, though. He was just a random person that was there. I looked at him and, in a VERY nervous voice said “I’m in trouble,” my shaky tone all but literally begging for help.
Then he just disappeared; he wasn't there anymore, and I was alone with the wig-wearing-crazy-eyed celebrity look-alike giving me another smile that I felt like it should have made me more nervous, but it was oddly calming. It was the kind of smile that made me curious and terrified all at once, but still a little more curious than I’d like to admit to. She was sitting next to me now, giggling a little bit, then draped her hand over my shoulder and leaned in VERY close and whispered right in my ear “We are going to have SO much fun tonight!”
I woke up for the second time, breathing heavy as if I had been anxiously holding my breath for too long. I lifted my head off the pillow and propped myself up on my arms and looked around the room for a moment, taking in my surroundings. I told myself it was just a dream, then laid my head back down and went back to sleep.
I fell RIGHT back into the dream, but at a different point. I was standing in her kitchen, leaning against the counter having a glass of water. She was in front of me talking, looking completely normal; Black hair, about shoulder length, wearing a loose-fitting white sweater and blue jeans. leaning against the island in the middle of the kitchen. It was clearly a new home and was pretty big. She left the room, and for some reason, and when she hadn’t returned a few minutes later, I went to look for her. I went around the corner into the living room, and she was standing in front of the TV, which was turned on but had a static-filled screen from a lack of signal, which I noted was odd since it was a modern flat-panel TV and those just go to a blank blue or black screen instead of the old-style tube TVs with static, but she was just a few feet in front of me, completely nude, body frail, blue and black veins were visible as though they were just barely underneath the skin and moving closer to the surface.
She looked emaciated, with her head cocked to her right side; much more fragile and skinnier than she was just moments before. Her skin was pale, almost gray. Her eyes were completely white, no retina, pupil... nothing that I could see. Just white with a few of those little red veins we all have around the edges. Mouth hanging slightly agape and drooling, with a slight gurgling noise every time she exhaled.
I didn’t know how to react to what was in front of me. I mean, our date had been weird, sure, but THIS was beyond that. I was now terrified. Part of me wanted to run, screaming, but I couldn’t. I was completely petrified by the sight that was now before me. The other part of me wanted to check on her to see if she was okay, but considering how the night had been going up to this point, I knew that she was FAR from “okay.” I said her name more than once, eventually yelling it trying to get her attention or snap her out of it, but she just stood there, ever so slightly swaying from side to side staring blankly in my direction.
I started backing into the kitchen against the counter where I had come from and she slowly walked forward toward me with a limp, zombie-like walk, one arm outstretched toward me. She was drooling, head still cocked to her right. I put my hand out and grabbed her out-stretched arm and locked my arm. She was still trying to walk forward, but just the pressure of me locking my arm out kept her from moving any closer. Then she raised her left leg and started making a kicking motion at me, but it didn't have any force behind it. It was almost more like an exaggerated leg twitch that happened to be in my direction, but over and over again. I started yelling, partially to try and get her attention, but mostly out of fear. “What the hell is happening??? HELP!! PLEASE SNAP OUT OF IT!!!”
And then I woke up again. I was in a cold sweat and frantically looking around the room to make sure that she hadn’t somehow followed me out of the dream, as ridiculous as that sounded. I rolled over and propped myself up on my arm, uncovering myself to let my fan cool me down and wake me up a little bit. I was so tired that I could barely keep my eyes open, but I didn’t want to risk going back into that dream again. It had been escalating in terror every time I fell back asleep and found myself back in it, and I did NOT want to find out what it had in store for me if it happened again. I got up and walked around the apartment for a moment, stopping to get a drink in the kitchen, then to the bathroom, figuring that I was giving myself plenty of time to get awake enough to detach myself from the thread of that dream, or nightmare, or… whatever the hell it was.
I made my way back to bed, and after a few minutes of messing around with a game on my phone to distract myself, I fell back asleep.
At this point, I KNEW I was dreaming, but it felt so real that I wasn’t entirely sure that I hadn’t been just transported to some Silent Hill-like hell dimension. I was there again. Right back in that goddamned dream. We were still in her house, but in a large, dark room. I think it was her bedroom. The decor was very old-style Gothic, with a lot of black and deep reds. A large four-post bed was centered on a wall. It was hand-carved and very elaborate, with fabrics made from satin for the curtains of the large canopy. They were black on one side and had a reflective dark purple on the other, with black fabric spider webs on the purple side. The pillows and comforter on the bed followed the same pattern, but were black on one side with a dark reflective red on the other, and the same black spiderweb design on the red side.
Sarah was sitting in a large hand-carved wooden chair with felt padding on the seat and back, looking scared, but otherwise normal again. Her look said that she had been told or made to sit there, and she was scared to talk or move. She appeared to be almost as confused by everything as I was at this point. She was wearing a plain pair of blue jeans with a thick, baggy white wool sweater. Sitting on the far end of the bed, slightly angled away from her was a woman who could have passed for an older sister or being her mother that just started at a young age. She was wearing a long black and red feathered skirt, with a black corset top with bare shoulders, but feathers around the tops of the arms. She glanced in Sarah’s direction and then over to me, smiling a confident, knowing smile.
I couldn’t tell if this was something to be afraid of or not, but with the way everything had been going, I was more than willing to bet that it was.
Sarah sheepishly asked, with her voice frail and breaking out of fear, "Who are you and what does it have to do with me?" The woman smiled at me without looking at her. She tilted her head down, and her face went all the way down to her chest, then came back out and she started tilting her head backwards. She was tilting her head impossibly far back. So far back that I thought her neck would surely snap at that kind of angle. I heard the sound of flesh splitting apart and bone separating. Her head was… I mean… Jesus CHRIST, what the fuck was it doing?? Her head was going INTO her back where the flesh and bone had begun splitting apart. I didn’t want to watch, but I was completely unable to look away. She was still smiling the whole time. While this head was going into her back, another was emerging from her front.
Fuck… I was so fixated on what was happening at her back that I hadn’t noticed that the front of her chest was splitting apart the same way the back was, and a second head was coming out of her chest. It matched the pace of the original, moving toward her shoulders where it slowly came to a rest; right where a normal head would be sitting. I couldn’t believe at this point that I had even had the word “normal” run through my thoughts. This was so far beyond the realm of normal that “fucked up” doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what this was.
She looked similar to the first; the same general facial structure with high cheek bones, dark, wild eyes, and an almost identical confidence in her smile. She used her hands to adjust her head and neck into position, then fluffed her wavy black shoulder-length hair. She was slowly and confidently getting her hair and make-up fixed without the use of a mirror but it all looked perfect and expertly applied. Black lipstick on her upper lip, and dark red on the lower with purple eyeliner. Not a single hair or speck of makeup was out of place. While she was doing this, I could hear the sound of flesh and boned moving, re-sealing the split in her chest and back after the first head that I saw finished going into her back.
It was like some grotesque fidget spinner with heads on each point. I looked at Sarah and she had her knees up to her chest, arms wrapped around her legs, and was rocking back and forth trying to think of how to even begin to process what the fuck was happening in front of us.
She couldn’t, and for the first time that night, I was in the same mental boat that she was in; terrified, curious, wanting to run away screaming at the top of our lungs in search of help, but who would believe us when we told them what was happening? They’d either think that we were pulling some kind of horrible prank, or we’d be shipped off to an insane asylum, which I admit was sounding more and more like the sanest option for this night.
After the woman on the bed finished adjusting her new head, she turned to us, smiled a perfect smile that made us shiver all the way down to our core, and in an English accent said "DARLING, use your imagination! You should know by NOW." And then let that same smile return to her face.
I looked in the mirror behind her and it was like nothing I had ever seen before in even the goriest of horror films. The back of the corset was open, and I could see the front was open as well, her back and chest both very broad. The skin looked very thick and had a slit cut right down the middle, poorly being sewn together with a single thick leather thread that was either moving by itself or being worked by invisible hands. Her skin was… it was moving. It looked as though there were more faces, more heads pushing against the thick skin trying to make their way out, but weren’t at that moment able to. I could see the same movement under her corset now. It was a constant sea of movement, with god only knows how many faces underneath.
Then it suddenly hit me like a freight train... This woman on the bed WAS Sarah, but a different version of her. I was somehow able to see them both as two separate people. The imprints of the faces were her different identities trying to make their way out, but only one at a time could do it, and they were trying to claw and climb over each other, so they could come out.
Sarah had apparently just reached the same conclusion that I had. She had a shocked look and said "Oh my god... she’s…she’s ME. I’m HER. But HOW??" I was surprised she could say anything at this point. She almost looked RELIEVED in a way, like everything that had been happening to this point finally had an explanation. She stood from the chair and was slowly walking toward this other version of herself. She had raised her arm to take the other’s already outstretched hand, and as everything started fading around me, the woman on the bed said “welcome back home, darling,” and everything went black.
Complete and total black. I couldn’t see a thing, but it felt like I was moving through a tunnel and light slowly started to creep in as I opened my eyes. I was lying in bed. I had woken up, but not with a jolt as I had the other times. I sat up, looking around my room to make sure that I was actually there. I pinched my arm to make sure I wasn’t still dreaming, but even with the pain test I wasn’t entirely sure. I checked my phone and I still had half an hour before my alarm was supposed to go off, but there was no way in hell I was going back to sleep after that. I wasn’t risking going back in and seeing if it would get any worse.
I told Paul about the dream after he got up, not sparing any of the gory details. He is a full-time psychology student, and said that the woman in my dream was a perfect representation of the inner workings of a mind with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Or, at least as perfect of a description as someone without that disorder can come up with. I left it at that and went about my day. I went to work, Paul went to class, and I was just hoping that the whole work day would be enough time to completely separate from that dream so I wouldn’t have to go through another evolution of personalities.
That night I was just finishing up with making dinner and as Paul and I sat down to eat, my phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number, but for some reason answered anyway, which I don’t normally do. I went pale. Paul saw my face and asked me what was wrong. I stood up from the table so fast I nearly knocked my chair over as I scrambled through the living room and looked through the blinds of one of the front windows. There was a black stretch limo out front. I audibly gasped and had to hold the door frame to steady myself because my legs grew weak.
An all-too-familiar voice on the phone said “Hey there, tiger. I had SO much fun on our date last night.” She giggled mischievously as she continued. It sounded like there was more than one of her speaking now; like there were dozens of her talking all at once! “I can’t WAIT to show you what I have in store for tonight.”
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2020.10.12 05:50 Mad_Finesse Owen is not an Alpha male, nor a reluctant Alpha Male at best he's a Beta male provider.

This whole Alpha male shit has gone out the fucking window IMO.
Is Roosh V an Alpha male because he wrote books about pick-up. NO! All it took was Roosh investing in 1 girl, that didn't respect him and cheated on him. He also looked through her phone and read her messages.
I would say, if you even suspect it. don't pursue it. It already means you don't trust a girl. Real or imagined you don't trust her. How can you be with someone you don't trust? That really forces you to examine yourself and the women you pick. Maybe you are insecure, maybe she is cheating. Dealing with that mind fuck is a huge obstacle that has nothing to do with how muscular you are or how much money you make while at the same time it kind of does.
Take Owen, for example, he's a celebrity. He's been in movies and on tv sitcoms, he's had specials, dated Christina Ricci. Despite him being a soft bodied little bitch with tits that plays piano. I gotta say, that Owen...That guy fucks!
Jump to now. I'd say Amy can be replaced. There's no shortage of pussy for Owen even if they are female bears. He's not secure enough to just have Amy and a good life.
Rather than just leaving the fear in Amy that he is man of means, a man with options (which is attractive). What does Owen do? Cut her off from the world and instills another kind of fear in her. The fear of abuse (emotionally of physical).
I wouldn't be surprised if Amy took up shooting at Vertac just to be around a real man.
Owen brags about having Navy Seals following him.
When I think of Navy Seals, I think of Jocko Willink and David Goggins.
They're all about mindset, teamwork, overcoming what you think you can't but can.
Owen supposedly has a Navy Seal neighbor. How does he treat him? He puts the Navy Seal beneath him as somebody that serves him.
He might be a Navy Seal, but Owen is a man of speaking "truth to power". A comedian who plays piano.
Is that what an Alpha male does? Hold other men down and paint himself above every other man that he's jealous of.
That's why people like Joe Rogan. He gives people a voice and is genuinely interested in other people and what they have to offer and their story.
Owen is only about how can I make them seem less than me and at my disposal. In fact, that's exactly what Vox is doing to Owen.
This is why UnAuthorized hasn't taken off. There's probably lots of devs that could make it happen, but it would hurt Vox's feelings. Vox has to reinvent AWS/kubernetes/docker and c/c++ before he is happy. Why? Because he's smarter than everyone at Google, Amazon and Microsoft, and everyone who came before.
OMG. This is why Owen is IslamoChristian
He's trying to re-invent religion like a programming language.
Islamo-Christian is to Owen what Julia is to data science.
TL;DR Amy might fuck Brandon from Vertac Tactical.
submitted by Mad_Finesse to owenbenjamin [link] [comments]


2020.07.19 23:40 metasciences1234 My Reviews 4

https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/17/nehez-horgaszmusort-vezetni/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/17/tour-of-moon-in-google-earth/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/17/time-person-of-the-yeahttps://fahej.wordpress.com/2009/12/16/pizza-on-a-stick/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/new-york-street-advertising-takeovehttps://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/puppy-vs-ice-cube/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/new-trailer-44-inch-chest/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/trailer-the-vicious-kind/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/tell-me-about-your-first-kiss/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/conn-x-the-magician/https://fahej.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/teasoknak/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/the-first-official-poster-for-christopher-nolans-inception/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/get-the-story-behind-a-story/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/positive-proog-of-global-warming/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/kacsa/https://fahej.wordpress.com/2009/12/14/csak-az-arnyek/https://fahej.wordpress.com/2009/12/14/csak-a-bulbdial-clock/https://fahej.wordpress.com/2009/12/14/comic-12/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/08/the-new-chromeo-single-night-by-night/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/06/sarkany-illuzio-optikai-csalodas/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/06/jew-666/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/06/turn-the-city-on-its-side/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/06/a-legjobb-filmotlet/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/02/clever-hamsters-jazz-band/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/02/louis-c-k-s-last-chance/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/02/a-sziget-reklamos-alak-ujabb-alakitasa/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/02/deadly/https://fahej.wordpress.com/2009/12/02/nestea/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/02/fail-compilation-november-2009/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/12/01/silence/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/30/new-trailer-exam-2009/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/30/megerkezett/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/30/axe-kampany/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/30/juggling/https://fahej.wordpress.com/2009/11/30/on-the-wedding-list-9/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/30/facebook/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/30/danielle-lloyd-topless-in-nuts-magazine/https://fahej.wordpress.com/2009/11/29/kis-vasarnapi-chill-ezes/https://fahej.wordpress.com/2009/11/28/before-aftehttps://fahej.wordpress.com/2009/11/27/black-bottom-cupcakes/https://fahej.wordpress.com/2009/11/27/evolution-4/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/25/bulls-escape-the-set-of-tom-cruise%E2%80%99s-new-movie-in-spain/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/25/ket-golyostoll-es-egy-asztal/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/25/darkchild-and-lady-gaga-making-of-telephone/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/25/tv-shows-by-gavin-jump/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/25/richard-overy-wahttps://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/24/i-look-like-a-nazi/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/23/here-comes-the-revenge/https://fahej.wordpress.com/2009/11/21/tom-otterness/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/19/ablaktisztito-kerem-szepen/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/19/amit-a-gyerekek-nem-latnak/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/19/jon/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/19/a-10-legdurvabb-rohoges/https://fahej.wordpress.com/2009/11/18/evolution-3/https://fahej.wordpress.com/2009/11/18/csak-a-tulzas/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/beyonce-ft-lady-gaga-video-phone-official-video/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/mar-pisilni-se-lehet-nyugodtan/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/volkswagen-gti-it-will-go-fast/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/date-night-trailehttps://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/na-mi-lesz-itt/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/titkos-uzenet-tralalalla/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/sebestyen-katja-nem-vagyok-tokeletes/https://fahej.wordpress.com/2009/11/16/orbi-tal/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/15/made-in-rromania-teasehttps://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/15/ashley-greene-maxim/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/15/behind-the-scenes-rihanna-russian-roulette/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/15/amikor-egy-keteves-michael-jacksont-hallgat/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/15/lemon-in-hdhttps://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/15/dont-judge/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/the-old-new/https://fahej.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/p/https://fahej.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/csak-a-szerencse/https://fahej.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/pentek-13/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/weezer-if-youre-wondering-if-i-want-you-to-i-want-you-to/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/11/the-yellow-handkerchief-official-trailehttps://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/11/website-of-the-week/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/11/%E2%80%9Ctreat-your-food-to-something-good%E2%80%9D/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/10/help-portrait-promo-video/https://inzert.wordpress.com/2009/11/10/zebra/https://inzert.wo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submitted by metasciences1234 to u/metasciences1234 [link] [comments]


2020.07.12 03:29 Overlook80 Casper (1995) surprisingly still holds up

Jesus, this movie had no right being as good as it was. I used to watch it all the time as a kid and always remember enjoying it. Recently, it started popping in my head and saw it on Netflix the other night and decided to give it a watch and honestly, it's somewhat of a great movie. I'm not calling it a masterpiece or anything, it still has it's detractors (some weak preformances, mainly eric idle and cathy moriarty, dated references, and some dull aspects with christina ricci and her school life) but aside from all that it's kind of a great film for a fucking movie about Casper the Friendly Ghost. The special effects which were considered groundbreaking at the time still manage to hold up (i'm still kinda suprised it didn't at least get a nomination for best visual effects), alot of the humor is pretty well done at aiming at both kids and adults (the father guido cameo, still leaves me laughing my ass off), the sound design is shockingly spectacular (which was designed by gary rydstrom and feels like it was mixed almost yesterday and works as a great speaker demo) along with the production design (whipstaff manor still looks beautiful). I can't talk about this movie without bringing up that fucking emotional James Horner score, goddamn it did not deserve to be as beautiful as it was and really helped with every emotional scene in the film (casper's lullaby could make a grown man cry). Oh yeah, those emotional scenes by the way. Fuck, man. That ending with Bill Pullman getting a chance to see his wife again almost made me choke up, i thought it would be pretty sappy but it was honestly really well executed and I couldn't imagine it without that score. Overall, watch it if you want or not. It's not the best movie nor is it the worst, it's pretty damn watchable for what it is and I really feel like it should be talked about a little more. It feels like one of those films I would show my future kids like Roger Rabbit. TL;DR: Casper is a surprisingly well-executed film with beautiful technical aspects and a beautiful score, that manages to be an entertaining and pretty damn emotional ride albeit some of it's dated material along with some pretty small weak preformances.
submitted by Overlook80 to movies [link] [comments]


2020.06.11 21:42 postmodernpilot A Short Speed Racer Guide and History

Television:

Speed Racer
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3u2z480BtrWpVof43WnK5Yph7qP0aOBl - Full English Dubbed run on Youtube

Original run: June 1966 – May 1968
Speed Racer, also known as Mach GoGoGo, is a Japanese media franchise about automobile racing. Mach GoGoGo was originally serialized in print in Shueisha's 1966 Shōnen Book. Adapted into anime by Tatsunoko Productions, its 52 episodes aired on Fuji TV from April 1967 to March 1968.
The English rights to Mach GoGoGo were acquired by syndicator Trans-Lux (which originally was, and still exists as, an electronics manufacturer), and Speed Racer premiered on American television in the fall of 1967. In the series, Speed's full name was Go Mifune, in homage to Japanese film star Toshiro Mifune. His name, Americanized, became Speed Racer. His adventures centered on his powerful Mach 5 car, his girlfriend Trixie, his little brother Spritle, Spritle's pet chimpanzee Chim-Chim, and his mysterious older brother, Racer X, whose real name was Rex Racer.
The New Adventures of Speed Racer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7c1qFxpPnQk&list=PLp1k2XEQQ8W8AZabsjYQKhyYbLErGolRe - All available episodes on Youtube to date

Original run: September 18 – December 11, 1993
The New Adventures of Speed Racer is a 1993 update of the Speed Racer animated series. This new Americanized version was designed as a single 13-episode season (the first episode was entitled “The Mach 5’s First Trial”), with the intent of launching a feature film adaptation.
This syndicated American version was animated by Fred Wolf, and was canceled after 13 episodes. The new version brought back all the classic characters, but updated various aspects of the series. This included a new, rock-style theme song, and a modified Mach 5.
Speed Racer X
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQv4n_RiVXc&list=PL0LCA1rUL4p2wiA_QnT6_ngEGoSIgViHP&index=1 - Full English Dubbed Run on Youtube

Original run: January 9, 1997 – September 25, 1997
Speed Racer X, known in Japan as Mach Go Go Go, is a remake of the original 1967 series produced by Tatsunoko Production, the same studio that did the original. The show originally premiered in Japan on January 9, 1997 on TV Tokyo and concluded on September 24, lasting only 34 episodes of an originally planned 52.
An English adaptation was produced by DiC Entertainment, in partnership with Speed Racer Enterprises, and aired in the United States on Nickelodeon's short-lived action block, Slam, in 2002. This release of the show was reversioned to include a replacement musical score by Michael Turner, violence edits and scene rearrangements. A new version of Go Speed Racer Go was composed by Jim Latham and used as the for opening credits, with an instrumental version for the ending. The show was quickly taken off the air (with only thirteen episodes dubbed) due to a lawsuit between DiC and Speed Racer Enterprises.
Speed Racer Lives
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ET9iqPCPr4 - Full Episode

Original run: September 7-19, 2006
The first and only episode of Art Asylum's canceled 2006 Speed Racer web series. This episode was originally divided into three 8 minute Flash-animated shorts that were meant to promote Art Asylum's Speed Racer toyline.
A horrifying crash brings old and new faces together as Junior and his father, the legendary Speed Racer, investigate the sudden return of Cruncher Block, and his mysterious alliance with their old enemies. Meanwhile, Velocity and Pops hide secret plans for a new engine on the windshield of the Mach 9.
Speed Racer: The Next Generation
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1055136/ - IMDB Page

Original run: May 2, 2008 – August 25, 2013
Speed Racer: The Next Generation is an American animated television series based on the classic Japanese Speed Racer franchise, in which the internal events take place decades after those in the 1967 Japanese series. It is the fourth television adaptation of the franchise, and is executive produced by Lions Gate Entertainment, Larry Schwarz, and Ken Katsumoto. Only one of the original characters, Spritle Racer, has a major role in this show. The main character of the series, Speed is the second son of the original Speed Racer from the 1967 Japanese anime series.

Movies:

Speed Racer: The Movie (1967)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2201050/ - IMDB Page

Speed Racer The Movie is an American compilation film produced by Streamline Pictures in association with Speed Racer Enterprises, containing three episodes from the original Speed Racer television series. It was released theatrically as The Speed Racer Show in select markets in 1992, before being re-released on VHS and LaserDisc in 1994, and later on DVD in 2001.
In addition to the Speed Racer content, the film included unrelated commercials contemporary to the show's broadcast era, as well as a Colonel Beep cartoon short. The home video release included a commentary track with Peter Fernandez and Corrine Orr, and a music video featuring a remix of the original theme song spliced with footage from the series, live action dancers and Speed and Racer X from The New Adventures of Speed Racer.
Episodes Included:
Episode 26: "The Car Hater"
Episodes 7: "The Race Against the Mammoth Car (Part 1)"
Episode 8: "The Race Against the Mammoth Car (Part 2)"
Speed Racer (2008)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeZoc98nZXQ - Trailer

Speed Racer is a 2008 sports action comedy film written, co-produced and directed by the Wachowskis[a] and based on the 1960s anime and manga series of the same name. Starring Emile Hirsch, Christina Ricci, John Goodman, Susan Sarandon, Matthew Fox, Roger Allam, Benno Fürmann, Hiroyuki Sanada, Rain and Richard Roundtree, it is an American-German venture produced by Village Roadshow Pictures, Silver Pictures, Anarchos Productions, Velocity Productions and Studio Babelsberg, and distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures.
The plot revolves around Speed Racer, an 18-year-old automobile racer who follows his apparently deceased brother's career. His choice to remain loyal to his family and their company Racer Motors causes difficulties after he refuses a contract offered by E.P. Arnold Royalton, the owner of Royalton Industries.
Speed Racer - Race to the Future (2013)
https://vimeo.com/81550687 - Trailer

Speed Racer: Race to the Future is a 2013 Indian-American flash animated film based on Tatsuo Yoshida's Speed Racer manga franchise. The movie was directed by Robert H. Fuentes III and produced by Toonz Entertainment for Imira Entertainment. Unlike Toonz's work on the second season of Speed Racer: The Next Generation, Race for the Future is set in the universe of the original animated series. It is the final production from Speed Racer Enterprises.
To prevent car accident fatalities, Pops Racer and his company develop an orb that can send a vehicle and its occupants 15-seconds back in time. Fearing for his son's safety during a race in poor conditions, and without Speed's knowledge, Pops installs the object in the Mach 5 before it can be properly tested. Just as the race begins, a bolt of lightning strikes the car sending Speed, Trixie, Sparky, Spritle and Chim-Chim fifty years into the future.

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2019.12.28 07:04 masmasi2907 Myths About Eating Disorders and Gender That Need to Go

An eating disorder is a mental disorder defined by abnormal eating habits that negatively affect a person’s physical or mental health. They include binge eating disorder where people eat a large amount in a short period of time, anorexia nervosa where people eat very little and thus have a low body weight, bulimia nervosa where people eat a lot and then try to rid themselves of the food, pica where people eat non-food items, rumination disorder where people regurgitate food, avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder where people have a lack of interest in food, and a group of other specified feeding or eating disorders. Anxiety disorders, depression, and substance abuse are common among people with eating disorders. These disorders do not include obesity.
The causes of eating disorders are not clear. Both biological and environmental factors appear to play a role. Cultural idealization of thinness is believed to contribute. Eating disorders affect about 12 per cent of dancers. Individuals who have experienced sexual abuse are also more likely to develop eating disorders. Some disorders such as pica and rumination disorder occur more often in people with intellectual disabilities. Only one eating disorder can be diagnosed at a given time.
When a relative of mine developed an eating disorder, it blew past the radar of everyone who cared about him.
“He’s just a picky eater,” they explained. “It’s a diet,” they brushed off. “He has a weird relationship with food, but it’s nothing to be worried about,” they declared. The implication always hidden that if he were a girl, there’d be reason for concern.
But why stress over him? Boys don’t get eating disorders, the thinking went. He’ll eventually grow out of this phase.
But when I came home from college one summer to see how he’d withered away, skeletal beyond recognition, I told his mother that this was unacceptable: “Aunty, he’s sick. You need to do something.”
When he finally saw a doctor, he was given an eating disorder diagnosis almost immediately. He had all of the obvious signs of anorexia nervosa: extreme caloric restriction, body image disturbance, fear of weight gain. But because he came in male packaging, they were missed by his family and friends.
The assumption that eating disorders are predicated on womanhood — and a very particular cisheteronormative standard of womanhood at that — is harmful to people who are suffering and fall outside of that stereotype.
And it means that men aren’t the only gender category where eating disorders are missed. Trans people, queer women, and masculine people, to name a few, are groups in which eating disorders consistently go unnoticed.
Breaking down the stereotype that eating disorders only affect certain kinds of women means allowing more room for people of various genders and sexual identities to be acknowledged in their struggles and survivorship.
So, here are four myths about gender and eating disorders that we need to smash right now.

Myth 1: Femininity is a predictive factor

The idea goes like this: The more feminine you are, the more at risk you are for developing an eating disorder, regardless of gender.
If you’re feminine, people assume you overemphasize the importance of beauty. This may, in turn, make you more susceptible to engaging in extreme behaviors to fit an ideal.
And the assumed relationship between eating disorders and weight loss is often overstated. A drive for thinness alone isn’t what causes eating disorders.
But people think that feminine people develop eating disorders in their pursuit of the thin ideal.
Here’s the truth: Our assumptions about eating disorders and femininity may be the result of long-standing researcher bias regarding gender roles.
While scales created to measure gender identity seem to prove objectively that femininity is a risk factor of eating disorder development, the scales themselves are subjective: The gender roles in the scales are rigid, associating femininity with women and masculinity with men.
Yes, eating disorders are more common in women. No, that doesn’t inherently make femininity a predictive factor.
Instead, it’s been found that when these scales allow for more fluidity in gender roles, nuances around femininity and masculinity in eating disorder development are no longer evident.
Eating disorders affect people regardless of the gender roles they subscribe to.

Myth 2: Straight men don’t struggle with body image

As mentioned earlier, we tend to make the association between femininity and eating disorders. A consequence of this is that folks tend to assume the only men who struggle with their body image and develop eating disorders must be gay, bisexual, or queer.
It is true that queer men are more likely than their straight counterparts to experience negative body image and develop eating disorders. But that doesn’t mean that straight men don’t.
In fact, according to the National Eating Disorders Association, the majority of males with eating disorders are heterosexual. And this could partly be linked to the fact that masculine beauty standards are becoming stricter and more extreme.
According to Dr. Harrison Pope, a Harvard psychiatrist who studies bodybuilding culture, “There has been a striking change in attitudes toward male body image in the last 30 years,” he told The New York Times.
Moreover, portrayal of men as lean and muscular “is dramatically more prevalent in society than it was a generation ago,” Pope said.
It’s no surprise, then, that one-quarter of men with a normal weight perceive themselves to be underweight.
As such, disordered eating behavior, especially compulsive exercise, is on the rise for straight men. Research has found 90 percent of teenage boys exercise at least occasionally with the goal of bulking up, while 6 percent of them have experimented with steroids.
Eating disorders aren’t reserved for women. Anyone of any gender can have an eating disorder. And knowing how eating disorders present differently in men can help us recognize the signs more quickly.

Myth 3: Trans people don’t have eating disorders

Point blank: Trans youth are at an increased risk for eating disorder development. In fact, they’re the group most likely to have received an eating disorder diagnosis in the past year — even when compared to straight, cis women.
And yet, when we think about eating disorders, we rarely, if ever, concentrate on the experience of trans folks. Trans experiences are often pushed to the side and overshadowed by the myth that eating disorders are most common in straight, cis women.
But according to a large-sample 2015 study, trans folks “may use disordered eating behaviors to suppress or accentuate particularly gendered features.” And the safety issues involved in not “passing,” or being read by others as their gender, might play a role here.
At least 26 trans people — most of them trans women of color — were murdered in 2018. Considering this danger, combined with the body dysphoria some trans people experience, it’s little surprise that trans folks may use weight loss or gain to “suppress features” of their gender assigned at birth or to “accentuate features” associated with their gender.
Trans folks are more likely to engage in compensatory behaviors often associated with bulimia nervosa, such as:
There are also several reasons why trans folks may be more likely to have an eating disorder diagnosis. For example, they’re more likely to already have contact with mental health professionals: 75 percent of transgender people receive counseling already, which could lead to an eventual diagnosis.
Regardless, the high rates of eating disorders in the trans population are alarming. It’s high time for us to recognize how seriously we need to take this community.

Myth 4: Queer women are immune to beauty standards

As a queer woman myself, this myth really bothers me.
The thinking goes that because queer women belong to a sub- or even counterculture, we’re protected from mainstream beauty standards. Because we don’t worry about preferences meant to entice men, we escape those standards entirely.
Not so fast.
It’s true that dating in lesbian culture, as compared to the dominant culture, lacks the same emphasis on physical appearance. And it’s true that queer women are, on the whole, more satisfied with their bodies and less concerned with the media’s portrayal of women’s attractiveness than straight women.
But the idea that queer women, especially those who are also attracted to men, somehow escape patriarchal oppression is absurd. Queer women are still women. And on top of that, we face extra pressures due to our sexual identity.
One study found that, similar to straight women, the following played a role in eating disorder development for queer women:
That said, queer women specifically pinpoint the “response to the stress and uncertainty of not fulfilling heteronormative expectations” as an explanation for the development of their eating disorders. Researchers also noted they used their eating disorder as a way of “avoiding their sexuality by focusing instead on food or by ‘looking straight.’”
In short: The overlapping of gender and orientation complicates body image. It doesn’t make it easier.
As such, there’s no significant difference in eating disorder occurrence between straight and queer women at all. Queer women may be less likely than their straight counterparts to develop anorexia, but they’ve also been shown to be more likely to develop bulimia and binge eating disorder.
Queer women aren’t immune to beauty standards or eating disorders. Believing that we are makes it much harder for us to receive help.

Eating disorders know no gender or orientation

The truth is simple: Eating disorders know no gender or orientation. They’re mental health conditions that can affect anyone. And obliterating the myths that say otherwise is an important step in making sure all people have access to acknowledgment, diagnosis, and treatment.

Celebrities Who Talked About Their Eating Disorders

These brave, inspiring women opened up about how their eating disorders or body image issues were controlling their lives. If you can relate, get help ASAP and find inspiration in their recovery.

Demi Lovato

Demi has been an advocate for others struggling with eating disorders, mental illness, and addiction — all of which she’s gone through herself and has openly talked about to fans.
She’s since been a major supporter of loving her body just how it is, sharing one Snapchat this past summer of herself in a bikini with the caption, “My body isn’t perfect, I’m not my fittest but this is me!! And I ❤ it.” Amen. She also bared even more of her body (and her #selflove soul) in a revealing photo shoot with Vanity Fair, saying, “What does it mean to be confident? It means letting go, being authentic, saying I don’t give a fu*k and this is who I am.”

Kesha

In 2014, Kesha checked herself into an undisclosed rehab facility to receive treatment for an eating disorder. She emerged stronger and with an empowering perspective that she shared with her fans in an essay for Elle UK, revealing, “I felt like a liar, telling people to love themselves as they are, while I was being hateful to myself and really hurting my body. I wanted to control things that weren’t in my power, but I was controlling the wrong things. I convinced myself that being sick, being skinny was part of my job.”
She went on to declare in an Instagram post, “I have decided to take my life back…and also a big ol’ f**k u if u wanna hate on my body. Just remember that makes u look like a dickhead.”

Candace Cameron Bure

Even though the Full House (and now Fuller House) star began her career very young and essentially grew up on camera, it really wasn’t until after the iconic series ended that Candace says her bulimia developed. She revealed her difficult relationship with food during an #EatingRecoveryDay panel in 2016 saying, “I got into a cycle of binge eating and feeling such guilt and shame for that, that I would start purging. And without even knowing, it soon just took over to a point where you feel such a loss of control.”
She has since regained control and has developed a better pattern with her diet and has found a love for fitness that has clearly turned into a passion for exercise.

Jade Thirlwall

The Little Mix singer opened up in the group’s new book about struggling with anorexia so severely when she was younger that she was even hospitalized. She says in the book, “At 13, you’re at that age when you don’t really have control over anything, and I felt as if the only thing I could control was what I was eating. I started skipping meals and stuff like that. I would look in the mirror and it wasn’t that I’d think I was fat, I just had it in my head that I wanted to be really, really skinny….It took going to hospital to make me realize what I was doing, that it wasn’t a game, it was something really serious.”
She went on to say that doctors and nurses at the hospital told her, “You’re destroying your body and if you keep doing this you will die.” “I can’t do this to my family. It shocked me into a change,” said the singer.

Shawn Johnson

The gymnast and Olympic gold medalist revealed to People that during the 2008 Games she restricted her carbs so obsessively she wouldn’t even eat a noodle in her soup, saying she was eating only 700 calories a day. “I was always the very strong, powerful, muscly, bulky gymnast and I felt like people always wanted me to be thinner and lighter and leaner,” she said in the interview. “As a 12-year-old, the only way I really understood how to achieve that was to eat less and restrict myself. Instead of putting in the time and effort to be healthy and do things the right way, you look for a quick fix that might work for a week or two.”
Johnson has since recovered and has celebrated her marriage to Andrew East earlier this year. She even dropped by our studio for a little one-on-one chat and fitness trivia.

Hilary Duff

Hilary Duff may have first risen to fame playing Lizzy McQuire as a child actress, but theYounger star and mom looks to be healthier and happier than ever — dating her personal trainer probably helps.
Last year, the SHAPE cover girl told us she went easy on herself when it came to getting back into shape after having her baby, saying, “There’s so much pressure to always have it together, and I’m not falling for it. You see supermodels who have babies, and the next week they look as if they were never pregnant. That was not the case with me. Some days I feel great, others I feel pretty normal, and that’s acceptable.”

Kate Winslet

Kate may be a revered, Oscar-winning actress who flaunts her curves on the red carpet with extreme confidence. But she wasn’t always among the 10 most body-positive women in Hollywood, as she admitted to an obsession with losing weight fueled by laxatives when she was a teenager trying to break into Hollywood.
She has said she was rather uncomfortable and self-conscious as a teenager, wanting to lose weight in hopes of breaking into the acting world. She lost 10 pounds, but “then I became addicted to losing weight and went too far. I was never anorexic or bulimic. I went through a three-month experimental laxative time which was absolutely awful. Luckily I was strong enough to be able to say to myself, ‘What are you doing? You are just really hungry,’” reports The Daily Mail.

Zoë Kravitz

The actress and daughter of Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet admitted that she struggled with an eating disorder that first manifested in high school. She told Complex magazine, “I had a really hard time when I was 16, 17, 18. I started with the eating disorder in high school…. Just [a hard time] loving myself … I felt pressured. My mother’s a beautiful woman, and I think, in some way, I felt intimidated by that sometimes.”
But, Zoë says her journey to recovery began when she finally said enough is enough. “I feel like something has left my body, like some part of me is gone now, something that was making me so insecure. And it feels amazing,” she explained in her interview.

Zosia Mamet

The Girls star got real about her struggles with an eating disorder and body image — issues she’s faced since childhood — in a 2014 essay for Glamour, demanding that society needs to start encouraging women to accept themselves.
Zosia says, “The first step, I think, is for those of us who are suffering to start talking about it: people like me, who have been diagnosed, and people who live in that gray area of ‘food control issues.’ We all suffer in some small way; we are all a little bit ashamed of that second cupcake. Let’s diminish the stigma. Let’s remind one another that we’re beautiful. Maybe you’ll help a friend. Maybe you’ll help yourself. And if you’re reading this and you’re suffering, please know you’re not alone. Tell someone: The people who love you will listen, I promise. And you’ll feel better.”

Nicole Scherzinger

The former Pussycat Doll and X Factor judge revealed her battle with bulimia to Cosmopolitan UK, saying it’s a struggle that she kept a secret for years. “It is such a horrible paralyzing disease and it was such a dark time for me. That’s why I can empathize so much with people who have demons and voices in their heads, who aren’t nice to themselves. It robs you of living your life.”

Troian Bellisario

Pretty Little Liars star Troian Bellisario revealed to Seventeen that she turned to anorexia as a way to cope with the pressures of high school — pressures that she put on herself. “I started self-harming when I was a junior. I would withhold food or withhold going out with my friends, based on how well I did that day in school… It was about wanting to please my father and mother and wanting to be perfect to everybody. I just thought if I ever expressed any sadness or anger or anything that’s going on with me, they would disown me. I kept a lot of it bottled up inside, and it turned into self-destructive behavior,” she said candidly in her interview.

Molly Sims

Molly Sims opened up to the Huffington Post about her obsession with maintaining unrealistic weight goals while modeling for Sports Illustrated and Victoria’s Secret. Today, she’s comfortable in her body, explaining, “I think other things have become more important than what I look like. It doesn’t have as much weight now that I have a husband and a family and kids … I’m not consumed with trying to get into a size 2.”

Katharine McPhee

Katharine McPhee was a fan favorite (and runner-up) on American Idol in 2006 — but she was hiding a secret battle with bulimia the entire time, something she later said she felt held her back.
In an interview with People she talks about that bittersweet time in her life saying, “I’d been struggling with bulimia since I was 17. Growing up in Los Angeles and spending all those years in dance class, I’d been conscious of body image at a young age, and I went through phases of exercising compulsively and starving myself. Food was my crutch; it was how I dealt with emotions and uncomfortable situations.”

Christina Ricci

Christina Ricci first came onto the scene in now iconic movies like Mermaids and Casper when she was a child — at a time when she says she was insecure about her changing body. Those insecurities morphed into a battle with anorexia that she sought treatment for.
The actress explained during a 2012 appearance on The Talk, “I think it’s just really awkward to go through puberty and go through growing up and becoming a woman when everybody is always kind of looking at you. You’re doing fittings for a movie, and people are judging how this looks on you and how that looks on you … I would say that if you feel like you are starting to obsess too much about the way you look, then definitely get some kind of therapy or help very quickly. Because that can just grow into an obsession that you can’t control.”

Alexa Penavega

The Spy Kids star opened up about recovering from bulimia while competing on Dancing With the Stars. Alexa revealed that her battle with bulimia began in childhood after a movie producer told her she was “too fat.” She said of her journey to People, “You read textbooks and it’s just so, well, textbook. ‘This is how you get over bulimia.’ But it is so much deeper than that.”

Ginger Zee

The Good Morning America meteorologist first got candid about her battle with anorexia while competing on Dancing With the Stars. She revealed to Us Weekly, “I’m so angry that [anorexia] is the way that I decided to cope. It’s going to be with me my entire life. I’m always going to have body-shaming issues. But I think I’ve now grown into enough of a woman and mature person that I realize life is a lot bigger than that.”
Source: http://www.hiwamag.com/health/eating-disorders-stereotypes/
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2019.12.15 21:00 DangerDylan [Sunday, 15. December]

World News

Greta Thunberg tells cheering crowd 'we will make sure we put world leaders against the wall' if they do not tackle global warming 'The adults are behaving as if there is no tomorrow but there is a tomorrow, it is the tomorrow where our young people will live & we have to fight for that tomorrow."
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Justin Trudeau moves forward with ban on LGBT+ conversion therapy across Canada
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Greta Thunberg apologises after saying politicians should be ‘put against the wall’. 'That’s what happens when you improvise speeches in a second language’ the 16-year-old said following criticism
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All news, US and international.

Mom whose baby was ripped from her arms by officers in NYC to get $625K settlement
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Cryptocurrency tycoon died leaving $145M in limbo
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Colorado woman gets revenge on porch pirates by stuffing decoy boxes with garbage
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Science

Researchers developed a self-cleaning surface that repel all forms of bacteria, including antibiotic-resistant superbugs, inspired by the water-repellent lotus leaf. A new study found it successfully repelled MRSA and Pseudomonas. It can be shrink-wrapped onto surfaces and used for food packaging.
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Sound waves can be used to separate microplastics from laundry wastewater, reports new study. Oceans are currently under threat from "microplastic", which may be shed by synthetic fabrics as they're being washed. The new setup was found to capture 95% of PET fibers, and 99% of Nylon 6 fibers.
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Research on UMass Amherst course shows resilience can be taught. The ability to persist through challenges and recover from adversity - is no longer considered a character trait by researchers but a practiced interaction between person and environment
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/Technology

House panel asks Apple, Google if app makers must reveal foreign ties - It's concerned TikTok, Grindr and other apps might pose security risks.
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Apple accused of monitoring employee text messages in lawsuit against ex-chip exec
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This alleged Bitcoin scam looked a lot like a pyramid scheme. Five men face federal charges of bilking investors of $722 million.
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Sadly, this is not the Onion.

Free agent Antonio Brown says it's time to ghost white women
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Bathroom sign says employees must have 'smell check' to ensure 'not sitting on phone' for too long
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Louisiana sues California over alligator ban
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Ask Reddit...

[serious] They say everyone we meet is fighting a battle we know nothing about... so we should always be kind. What battle are you fighting?
Comments
What happened to that person that took your virginity? Where are they in life?
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What turns you on almost instantly?
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Sysadmin

A Dropbox account gave me stomach ulcers
Comments
Update on recent NGINX situation
Comments
Just remember this in your emergencies Guys & Gals.
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Microsoft SQL Server

JSON strings as stored procedure parameters
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Sql Server Stored Procedure datatype that is like a list
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PowerShell

Moving files based on name
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Using PowerShell Core 6 and 7 in the Windows PowerShell ISE
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Starting from the bottom
Comments

Functional 3D Printing

I printed some two-color QR coasters so my guests can connect to the WiFi without asking me for the password
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Magnetic print
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Couldn't find a magnetic cleaner for my fishbowl so made a custom one with the exact curvature required and in-print magnets.
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Data Is Beautiful

Swear words in Tarantino movies [OC]
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I dieted for 80 days and recorded my weight and calories eaten per day [OC]
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[OC] Compare your favorite music artists head-to-head here in this interactive visualization powered by Spotify API (demo link in comment)
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Today I Learned (TIL)

TIL forcing left-handed children to write with their right hands is not in any way innocuous or helpful- it is actually harmful to their developing brains and can result in dyslexia, stuttering and other learning or speech disorders.
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TIL actor Robert Pattinson dealt with an obsessed fan who had been camping outside his apartment by taking her out on a dinner date. "I just complained about everything in my life and she never came back."
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TIL that 95% of the world's food needs are provided by just 30 species of plants. At least 12,650 species names have been compiled as edible.
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So many books, so little time

The employees at iconic NYC bookstore McNally Jackson have voted to unionize.
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I’m a sucker for long books.
Comments
What are some examples of high quality prose?
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OldSchoolCool: History's cool kids, looking fantastic

Winona Ryder and Christina Ricci in 1989.
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My great great grandma, in the foothills if the Appalachian mountains around 1915
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Conan O'Brien and Bob Odenkirk in the SNL writer's room, 1988.
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aviation

Su-34 bombers over MIBC Moscow, Russia Photo: Vladimir Astapkovich [900x603]
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The Gimli Glider
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America’s ass
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Reddit Pics

My wedding dress didn’t arrive in time so I wore my mom’s 1960s wedding dress and it was perfect for our backyard ceremony.
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Mural I painted in Memphis Tennessee
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I made a penny floor that worked out cheaper than a real floor !
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.gifs - funny, animated gifs for your viewing pleasure

Living The Good Life!
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A band of monkeys accepting a stray dog into their group and giving him a quality grooming
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Pot Painting
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A subreddit for cute and cuddly pictures

My little helpers.
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I felt bad for my cat not being able to see out to our front yard, so together we cut him a peep hole in the frosting.
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Kisses before you go!
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2019.08.20 05:12 j259awesome C 1k-5k

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2019.05.20 09:55 radiofan15 Moby's breakthrough album, the highly influential 'Play', was released 20 years ago

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When you talk about influential albums, your first though might be best-sellers or critically acclaimed efforts... and you are right, those record tends to fill any respected list of influential records... except there's also OTHER kind of influential records, those who defied and subverted expectations as if they were Star Wars films directed by Rian Johnson; in this case i'm talking about the 1999 electronica album Play by Moby, which celebrates its 20th anniversary this month.
For Moby, Play was a turning point in his career. Before Play, he was considered a middling successful electronic artist, with his 1992 single Go having found surprise success on the UK (peaking at #10) and his music doing decently on the Billboard dance charts, all while his albums barely sold any copy at all; all of that changed on 1995, when he left the gimmicks behind (like Thousand, a song with the Guinness record for the fastest BPM) to create an actual album, one that was conceived as such, 1995's Everything Is Wrong, an album that would forecast what would come for Moby next, as some of its tracks would be repurposed on movies and shows like Heat (God Moving Over the Face of the Waters), Scream (First Cool Hive) and The Sopranos (When It's Cold I'd Like to Die). With a well received album and the kind of success any DJ could realistically get, Moby decided to throw everything away with Animal Rights, a hardcore punk/alternative/ambient album that was conveniently released as soon as the kind of music he used to make started to get mainstream; as expected that album not only flopped horribly and was poorly received, but nearly killed Moby's entire career as he alienated his previous fanbase, leave the specialized media industry cold and was lambasted by listeners within the alternative genre, leaving Moby to be considered as a has-been.
After the fallout of what Moby considers his best record, he came back in full force with a remix of the James Bond theme song for the Pierce Brosnan film Tomorrow Never Dies, which peaked at #1 on the Billboard Dance Chart and #8 on the UK; afterwards he started working in what he wanted to be his final record before returning to college to study architecture; that album was, of course, Play.
The album is a genre-bending piece, mixing Moby's standard electronica sound with such disparate elements like early blues, African-American folk music, gospel, hip hop, disco and techno, all together mixed but not stirred... it was basically a blues and rock record for the 2KY generation. The most recognizable element of the album is the sampling of field recordings (compiled by Alan Lomax in the boxset Sounds of the South) from a capellas performed by black Southerner folk and blues performers of yesteryear, with Moby playing with and looping the recordings to create his, at the time, swan song.
The release of the album was delayed because Moby was dissatisfied with the mixing on the record, with three further attempts not giving the desired results... a fourth and final mix was created on Moby's apartment, and that became the album's final version; unfortunately there was another issue: no one really wanted to touch the album, as almost every record label rejected it, and even when V2 Records agree to distribute it, they weren't exactly that optimistic either, as they only anticipated sales from 250,000 copies worldwide (the same number that Everything Is Wrong, his most successful release at the time, got), which seemed particularly difficult as no major journalist got interested in the release.

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So how did an album that debuted with 6,000 copies sold worldwide on its release week, and featured no hit single and 18 tracks of genre-bending electronica that included black spiritual chanting mixed with rock/hip-hop influenced non-danceable electronic music, ended up selling over 12 million copies worldwide? Licensing of course. You see, when filmmaker Michael Mann used God Moving Over the Face of the Waters for the climax of his 1995 film Heat, Moby's managers decided to push his music through licensing channels, and even the bomb that was Animal Rights couldn't stop them from pitching his music everywhere, up to the point that he was capable of releasing the compilation album I Like To Score composed of previously licensed songs for movie soundtracks just two years later.
Play debuted at number 33 on the UK charts but fell almost right away in spite of its positive critical reception, which wasn't aided by radio stations and music channels like MTV refusing to play the singles, as they though of them as instrumental/experimental tracks without wide appeal; despite this setback, Moby's reputation for making background-appealing music led to many brands to ask for the license to use some of the songs in their ads, an idea Moby agreed not because it would help him to recoup his costs (some of those deals weren't exactly lucrative to begin with) but because he wanted to music to be heard; at the end of the day he ended up rejecting more deals than those he approved, and to his surprise all of the 18 tracks (including a 1-minute long instrumental track called 7) were licensed before the album less than a year after the album got released on Mat 17th, 1999.
It could have something edible like Bailey's Irish Cream, something fancier like Nordstrom or a Volkswagen Polo, or even something bizarre like Tiger Woods playing some American Express-sponsored golf in NY, Moby's music was there to sell you whatever they wanted, wherever they wanted. The strategy worked and Play reentered the UK charts on January, 2000 before eventually peaking at the top position three months later, beating Santana's Supernatural for the top spot; the same event repeated on multiple countries around the world and suddenly Play was selling 150,000 copies weekly, reaching the top 5 in over a dozen countries' sales charts (before being eventually certified Platinum in over 20 of them), and finishing the year as one of the best-selling albums, including a spot as the fifth best-selling album of the year in the UK, where Play spend 81 weeks on the charts, before being eventually certified 6x Platinum. In the US the album never peaked above #38 on the Billboard chart but it still managed to be a constant seller and was eventually certified 2x Platinum after having sold over 2.7 million copies there.
Of course ads weren't entirely responsible for the album's success, as the unprecedented release of 8 hit singles over the course of 2 and a half years.
The album's opening track and debut single was Honey, build around a vocal sample of Bessie Jones' Sometimes with the instrumental build around the piano of Joe Cocker's Woman to Woman; the song was composed in around 10 minutes using these elements after Moby discovered Jones' recording on the aforementioned Lomax boxset, with the composition using Jones' vocals (choosing only the lines that amplify the song’s sexual subtext) against a repeating piano line, a hip-hop drum loop, vinyl cuts, and a slide guitar, with the final result meant to “convey female sex”, with the final track being mixed by Beastie Boys producer Mario Caldalto Jr; this mix was an influential factor in how the remainder of the album would sound. Honey was promoted with a video directed by Roman Coppola and a remix featuring Kelis in order to ensure some radio airplay (the track was released as a single 8 months before the album release), however the track was only middling successful with a #33 peak in the UK, #49 in the Billboard Dance Chart and #95 in Australia, although a later repackage of the remix cracked the top 20 in the UK.

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The second track and eight and final single is Find My Baby, in which Moby repurposes a sample of Boy Blue's Joe Lee's Rock over a slide guitar and some 80s-inspired hip-hop drums. As an 8th single, the track, promoted with a video directed by Barnaby & Scott, didn't exactly set the charts on fire, although it manages to peak at #4 on Belgium and #36 on Italy.
The third track on the album, sixth single and Moby's signature track is Porcelain, a song that Moby had to be talked about including in the album, as he wasn't exactly the biggest fan of his vocal performance and the production of the song. Build around a sample of the Ernest Gold track Fight for Survival from the 1960 film Exodus, the song is this melancholic downtempo piece about loving someone who's not right for you and ending the relationship, based on a personal experience that Moby went through, with a drum machine, vocal samples and multiple layers of cellos and synthesizers complementing the atmosphere. Critically acclaimed upon release, the song was at first ignored by audiences, as noticed by Moby who has recounted how people used the song as their bathroom break during his concerts, however everything changed after filmmaker Danny Boyle used the track in a pivotal sequence of the Leonardo DiCaprio film The Beach (released in the middle of the LeoMania), which pushed the track to a #5 debut on the UK and relatively high peaks on other countries. Two music videos were released, an eye-themed video directed by Jonas Åkerlund and a second one, equally minimalistic, directed by Nick Brandt; both video helped the song to became the breakthrough hit it was, and the continued popularity of the track can be seen on, per example, its sampling on A$AP Rocky's A$AP Forever last year, which gave Moby his second ever entry on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.
The forth track and single is Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad?, another track build around old Black samples, in this case the 1963 Banks Brothers gospel classic He'll Roll Your Burdens Away (which he would later reuse for his 2002 track I'm Not Worried At All) with Diane Charlemagne singing in the chorus in what started in 1992 as a ''mediocre, generic techno song'' (here's an undated early leaked demo) that was eventually slowed down into a more mournful and romantic iteration that Moby still had to be talked into including in the album. The animated music video, featuring Moby's mascot Little Idiot, helped to push the track to the Top 5 in several European countries like Germany, Switzerland and Austria and to the Top 20 in the UK (it peaked at #16, with an eventual re-release peaking at #17), probably aided by the performance with Elton John.
The success of Moby's singles weren't limited to the Old World, as the album's fifth track and seventh single, South Side, became a surprise Top 20 hit on the US (it peaked at #14, and remained Moby's only Hot 100 entry for almost 18 years) and a #3-peaking hit on Canada, even if it's Moby's least favorite track on the album. With drums sampled the The Counts' 1971 song What's Up Front That Counts, the lyrics deals with abject amorality, in which the poppy and catchy chorus hides the dark subject matter about kids becoming to desensitized from violence for all of the overwhelming stimuli around them that nothing matters anymore. The song was originally recorded with Gwen Stefani as a duet (to the surprise of Moby, as Gwen asked to be part of the track), however her vocals were taken from the final mix as he was dissatisfied with the mixing of the duet version... her vocals were restored for the single version of the track after a friend of Moby managed to create an adequate mix, with this version being also used for the music video which was directed by notorious troll Joseph Khan and was eventually nominated for Best Male Video at the VMAs. It's quite weird to hear the duet version after Moby and Gwen's eventual falling out (and what happened afterwards) but South Side would remain as one of his biggest hits, even if Moby doesn't like the song that much.
By the time we reach Rushing, the sixth track and first non-single (and also first instrumental track) on the album, is when things start to get interesting... at least for Moby, as this is one their favorites tracks on the record; although the title might suggest otherwise, this is actually a very ethereal song with a soothing atmosphere and a gorgeous echoing piano that makes this one of my favorites deep cuts of Play.

https://preview.redd.it/84kfcelckbz21.png?width=900&format=png&auto=webp&s=4eea14328e0d4a8632a16b4781e7a0dc7e42025c

Things get more upbeat with the UK Top 40 hit and album's third single Bodyrock, which samples the vocals from Spoonie Gee's Love Rap and put it on top of guitars inspired by Gang of Four's What We All Want and some orchestral elements to create what is basically Moby's version of a Fatboy Slim song, his own take on hip-hop. The song got three music videos: one exclusive to the UK featuring what I swear might be the first recorded instance of the dab (see 2:25), a second one which is a faux-behind the scenes version of the UK video featuring auditioning dancers and the American version directed by Steve Carr (of Paul Blart: Mall Cop fame) featuring a cameo by Run-DMC and a premise inspired by They Live.
The blues samples come back on the appropriately-titled Natural Blues, in this case taking Vera Hall's gorgeous and soulful Trouble So Hard and putting it this ethereal backing track in what you might call an extended remix of the original. The song was released as the fifth single of the album and promoted with a gorgeous music video directed by David LaChapelle and starring Christina Ricci and Fairuza Balk which eventually won the Best Video category at the MTV Europe Music Awards, with the song itself peaking at #11 in the UK and reaching the Top 10 in Belgium and France... of course there is also an alternative animated video starring Little Idiot but no one remembers that one.
The next two tracks are quite the deal breakers for some but they add some variety to the record: the techno sad-bop Machete, a track obviously influenced by late-80s EBM that continues Moby's tendency of comparing winter and cold with death and addiction/depression, and the short non-interlude guitar-driven tribal track 7, which might end too soon for some people...
Run On is the eleventh track and second single of the album, and another track based on a classic spiritual/folk tune, in this case Bill Landford and the Landfordaires' Run On For A Long Time, which is one of the multiple titles for this folk standard that has been covered by the likes of Johnny Cash and Elvis Presley, a background Moby wasn't aware of when he decided to build an entire song around it. The midtempo composition is slickly produced and is quite catchy and attention-grabbing enough that is understandable why it was chosen as the second single, even when it didn't performed as good as expected (it peaked at #33 on the UK), in spite of its innovative video, directed by Beginners' director Mike Mills, and surprising repeat value.
Another mellow and short instrumental track follows appropriately called Down Slow, in which the accentuated hip-hop drums and subdued choipiano in the background creates this quite interesting bridge with the track that follows: the dreamy trip-hop track If Things Were Perfect, in which the Willie Hutch’s Hospital Prelude Of Love Theme-sampled hook and Moby's sing-talking creates this spacey vibe that recalls the kind of daydreaming the lyrics refers to.
Everloving is the next instrumental track, which grown from a tender mid-tempo acoustic guitar piece into this full breathtaking piece of ambient perfection thanks to the addition of some pronounced and punchy drums, subdued piano and a evocative synth melody... not so bad for what is basically a ''crummy'' demo from a cassette. Inside is the next track and is another instrumental piece, although way more relaxing that previous songs, as the pulsing kick drum, persistent synth background and occasional lurking piano gives some very evocative feelings of being inside... of what exactly I'm not sure but there's not a definite answer.

https://preview.redd.it/bz5m43j8mbz21.png?width=900&format=png&auto=webp&s=dca6f929feb18730db7b3492926f9ada0760c7aa

Moby's favorite track from Play is Guitar Flute & String, our third consecutive instrumental piece but and the first of two tracks without a drum pattern, with the instrumentation being made of literally what the title says. X-Files stans know the next two songs, which are also the last two of the album: the penultimate track is the heavily minimalist The Sky Is Broken, a track that recalls the previous If Things Were Perfect, albeit with less-pronounced drums, thanks to its icy spoken word and melancholic nature; the album closer and second track without a drum pattern is My Weakness, a gorgeous piece that is closest thing this album gets to pure ambient music, thanks to the sampling of a traditional song from the Kanak people of the Tiga Island that makes the whole album close on such a soulful note.
Following the album's release, Play received widespread acclaim from critics, included those who ignored the album when released, with praise going to its production, the use of its samples, the mixture of genres and influences; the album was included, or even topped, several year-end lists, and even if it was quite dismissed by the Grammys (it was only nominated for Best Alternative Music Performance, losing against Beck, and Best Long Form Video for the video compilation DVD, losing against a recording of the musical The Producers), it continues to be one of the most acclaimed records of all time even 20 years after its release, in spite of the occasional and oftentimes wrong take that tends to miss the point.
With its staggering licensing model and the way it virtually made the album relevant, Play's impact has been sometimes reduced to just simply showing record labels how to give their lesser acts enough mainstream push in the hopes of replicating the Play success, helping, alongside the rise of the internet, to blur the line between art and commercialism to the points we see today... and yes, that's arguably the more obvious part of its legacy, but it's not the only one: Moby was arguably the first DJ to become a worldwide pop superstar; sure, he wasn't the first DJ to reach mainstream success but there weren't many DJs before him dating movie stars like Natalie Portman and Christina Ricci, being dissed by Eminem, headlining their own touring festival alongside David Bowie, or getting multi-platinum sales; Moby was one of the several DJs part of a emerging trend of more genre-bending musicians, who used real instrumentals wherever it was possible and even get to sing on their own tracks occasionally; however, similar acts of the era (like Fatboy Slim, The Prodigy, Daft Punk, The Chemical Brothers, etc.) never reached those heights of cultural dominance and media presence (it's not that they needed to), with Moby's successors (David Guetta, Calvin Harris, The Chainsmokers, etc.) being those who ended up getting similar levels of stardom by following some of his footsteps.
Because people at the time couldn't get enough of Moby, a DVD (remember those?) was later released with the fitting title Play: The DVD and including a megamix, live performances, the music videos and a documentary... however, the real crown jewel was the compilation Play: The B-Sides, which is exactly what the title suggests.
The compilation opened with Flower, another folk-sampling track (in this case Jesse Lee Pratcher and Mary and Mattie Garder's Green Sally Up) which some might recognize as having gone viral a couple of years ago as part of a challenge; the next tracks are a couple of instrumental pieces like the upbeat retro-inspired Sunday, and the soothing and healing Memory Gospel (which, alongside Flower, might be among Moby's best well-known B-Sides). The next tracks are the vocoder-heavy Whispering Wind and the instrumental Summer, both around 6 minutes long, followed by entirely by nothing but instrumental tracks: the epic genre-bender Spirit, the Sweet Lullaby-sampling Flying Foxes, the funky Sunspot, the ambient/breakbeat hybrid Flying Over the Deadline, the bouncy 7-minutes long track Running and finally the peaceful The Sun Never Stops Setting. Although not as good, as obviously not nearly as successful as the parent album, The B-Sides is a recommended listen for those who might have enjoyed what is one of the most important records of the last 20 years, one whose legacy extends beyond the music... and one that is way too beautiful and amazing for words to explain.

https://preview.redd.it/jk9261srjbz21.png?width=900&format=png&auto=webp&s=84bc07930738530afbd73a72fc6d80780ce89697
submitted by radiofan15 to popheads [link] [comments]


2019.01.19 21:22 vcardthrow1 Jealousy

Even before I was FA - this was the defining characteristic of my life.
It's the worst experience. It's a sin you can't confess lest you be even more shunned; it paralyzes you; it renders your hard work so worthless; and it makes your suffering feel deserved.
From childhood, a miserable, weird, needy, loud little kid that grew up into a frightened, acne-ridden, bumbling, cowed doormat/dolt - it feels like a curse inherited by my mother.
If you're attractiveness, stupid, probably friendless, not well liked, and you find people you have affection for never reciprocate, jealousy is the final curse as you watch life bless other people and if you're really *really unlucky...those people revel in bringing you pain or they're categorical sadistic and judgmental assholes.
Mine is everything I wish been - a pretty, skinny, humble-bragging, sneering alt chick/perfect princess who speaks three languages, has encyclopedic knowledge of rock, worked for ten years in a white shoe law firm, and is the apple of her parents' eye. She's rich.
This woman used to bitch and moan about her perfect pale skin and big tits because...models made her feel inadequate, basically, and I guess that's the social circle she was in. She's the sort of woman who associates depression with being too smart so somehow it justifies being a condescending bitch. Imagine having that fucking luxury, while you work a great job, are conventionally attractive, and get to live without roommates in a large city. I fantasize about that. Literally fantasize about having a life that doesn't scream "unrelenting loser", even if I had to manage chemical depression.
She's mean. Like a categorically mean person. But because she's so pretty, because she had braces as a kid (instead of being a beautiful princess, you see), because of her low key snottiness about music, art and literature, her well-spokenness and ability to insult and gossip handily (and without ever getting called on it, except once or twice by ugly weirdos like me) - people revel in it.
She took her poli sci degree into an NYC law firm job at an incredibly prestigious corp. law firm and turned it into a job at a music company. It's been four years, she's a manager now.
That's an industry people go to school to be part of, suffer terribly...and she got that job cold-calling. You know those girls bosses create jobs for? She's one of them.
And I think to myself - someone who has succeeded in making me feel so small and so jealous could do that, be the hero of their own lives, be that special to someone.
Me? It's the old Groucho Marx quote (butchered)- no club I' I can live with that most of the time. But I think it's seeing what a human life could be like and the kiss of death of that same person putting you in your place (often for an audience) that feels so special. d want to be part of would have me as a member.
If I love something, I love consuming it without having real knowledge about it or making it special. There's the stereotype of the dumpy, dopey, ineloquent fan who uses - frankly - television, or books no one likes and never did, read long ago, that I reread.
Nobody cares about you or what you do, if you love them.
This is the sort of pretty girl that identifies with Wednesday Addams (ruining that film for me, no less) and it's poisoned my love of that character and young Christina Ricci, who had her own demons, no doubt.
As I lie in bed, sick, unemployed, terrified of the future after a medical procedure, and having had a horrible year (decade - two decades, lol) - that Sartre quote is truer and truer...hell is other people.
Not just the discourteous, the average thoughtless mean dumbfuck who might torture a woman to death if only given the opportunity (knows no gender) out of pure malevolent curiosity, boredom, and lack of empathy that simply does not exist in the average person - it's the "friends" that are not friends, are the only people you have to talk to, and that make you feel small. Someone who doesn't even reciprocate what little warmth you has and makes you feel like pure shit for the pathetic needy loser you are, as you watch their lives from outside, and how they treat people they actually care about. It's the guys that string you along (acquaintance of this same friend - fuck, did that remind me how ugly and weird I was. Ghosted with no explanation after joking about a date.)
It's the strangers you are friendly to in a place you're nervous, who decide in no time at all, you're a piece of shit.
And in this case, it's the "nemesis" you have because they put your self-hatred into excruciatingly stark relief who generally does not think of you, or has power over you. It's a horrible way to go through life; I imagine at least some of you understand if it comes down to you and pretty much any asshole, no matter how out of line or unpleasant they are - even abstractly insufferable....others would choose them. They take their side.
Was it life but a big competition for friends' time, for income, for happiness, for "specialness", and how can it not be worse if you know your own accomplishments bring you no happiness?
On my best day, my most successful, I am exhausted, mediocre, alone, ugly, acne-ridden, insecure, perpetually afraid and regretful, and that's the path of a whole life, if you start from below and only live to sink. If I have a job, it's a pathetic fucking temp job I might lose that confers no new skills, with a boss that does not like me, and looks like shit on a resume. If I was blessed with the ability to express myself about the pieces of furniture in my private living hell...that's really it.
I wish I had encyclopedic knowledge about art, or music, or anything - this girl does in spades, economic and social capital. Her fake humility about it was the icing on the shit cake. I wish I were exquisitely likable, and pretty, and employable.
This woman lives in a studio apartment and with no marketing experience or music industry experience, became a senior manager. In four years. Probably pulling in 90k+ per year. Childhood friends, industry friends, able to date and moan about the hardship and depth she acquired as a child that needed braces.
This affliction is its own terrible sin and bottomless hell, and it always has been. And God, does it make me feel alone.
You know the dumb thing is, I'd be friends with this girl in a heartbeat and would still resent and envy her if she were nice. God knows I already envy all my fucking friends from high school, who might see me once two years but they don't check on me. Most of my life is online; I'm not going to go dancing and I can't bear to talk about what's happening to me.
It's easy to drift away.
I know this is rambling; I'm sorry.
If you relate, I'm listening.
This is the last piece of the puzzle, one of a few sentences that sums up an angry, shame-filled, miserable existence - I wish people were nice; it's a lot more fun enjoying them.
I wish I had so much in my own life and were proud of myself, so I could just be happy for people without thinking, "What's that like?
What'd it be like to have a tenth of what she's got going for her?"
submitted by vcardthrow1 to Trufemcels [link] [comments]


2018.05.24 00:45 kaunis [Wednesday, May 23 2018] Robot submarine finds "holy grail of shipwrecks" with up to $17 billion in treasure; Morgan Freeman to voice Vancouver Transit System; Amazon banning shoppers who return items too often; U.S. Public Schools Have Lost 20% Of Their Librarians Since 2000

/worldnews

/news

/UpliftingNews

/nottheonion

/science

  • mvea
    Weekend sleep-ins may counteract the effects of lack of sleep during weekdays - Adults under the age of 65 who get 5 or fewer hours of sleep may have a higher risk of death compared to those who get 6 or 7 hours. However, individuals who then sleep longer on weekends had no raised mortality risk.
    Comments Link

/history

  • Chosen_Of_Tchar
    A pretty engaging article about drug use by soldiers throughout history. Drugs have been used in various forms by warriors and soldiers throughout history. Their influence is often overlooked but I found this pretty fascinating!
    Comments Link

/space

  • clayt6
    The "Zoo Hypothesis" is one possible (and unsettling) solution to the Fermi Paradox, which asks "Where are all the aliens?" The zoo hypothesis suggests that humans are intentionally avoided by alien civilizations so that we can grow and evolve naturally.
    Comments Link

/Futurology

  • izumi3682
    Amazon is selling facial recognition technology to police, allowing them to analyze ‘millions of faces in real-time’ - And the ACLU is furious.
    Comments Link
  • mvea
    A 100% renewable grid isn’t just feasible, it’s already happening - there are seven countries already at, or very, near 100 percent renewable power: Iceland (100 percent), Paraguay (100), Costa Rica (99), Norway (98.5), Austria (80), Brazil (75), and Denmark (69.4).
    Comments Link

/gadgets

/AskReddit

  • J0chem0o
    What small thing should be illegal because it pisses you off on a daily basis?
    Comments
  • Ferguson97
    What is a subtle sign that someone is emotionally mature?
    Comments

/IAmA

/todayilearned

  • murdo1tj
    TIL The World Record for the fastest growing plant belongs to a certain species of bamboo. They have been found to grow up to 35 inches per day at a rate of 0.00002 mph. That’s nearly 1.5 inches an hour. You could literally watch bamboo grow before your eyes.
    Comments Link
  • chaosbeans
    TIL that Donkey Kong creator Miyamoto used "donkey" to convey "stubborn" in English; the name Donkey Kong was intended to convey "stubborn ape" to the American audience. When he suggested this name to Nintendo of America, he was laughed at, but the name stuck.
    Comments Link
  • NeverEnoughMuppets
    TIL During the University of Texas shooting, pregnant student Claire Wilson was shot, and her fiance killed. While Wilson lay crying out for help directly in the sniper's view, student Rita Starpattern ran to her and played dead for 90 minutes, talking to Wilson to keep her awake until help arrived.
    Comments Link

/Cooking

/gaming

/Baking

/movies

/sports

/books

  • adumbrow
    [Title Post] U.S. Public Schools Have Lost 20% Of Their Librarians Since 2000
    Comments Link

/Art

/television

/OldSchoolCool

/pics

/gifs

/oddlysatisfying

/mildlyinteresting

  • jack230993
    Old lady in Vietname gave us a boat ride and made a grasshopper out of palm leaves!
    Comments Link

/MostBeautiful

/EarthPorn

/HistoryPorn

/aww

  • tysonboy34
    My wife and I went into Pet-smart to get our cat a new bed. Came back with Chief.
    Comments Link
  • balasurr
    I saw this little guy having a really comfy nap at a Sri Lankan tea estate. He seemed to be having a nice nap, completely oblivious to the light rain.
    Comments Link
  • JF_112
    Boop
    Comments Link

/Awwducational

Something New

Everyday we’ll feature a selected small subreddit and its top content. It's a fun way to include and celebrate smaller subreddits.

Today's subreddit is...

/frogs

Its top 3 all time posts
submitted by kaunis to tldr [link] [comments]


2018.05.23 23:00 GraxPy 05/23/18

Post# Title Subreddit Url Upvotes
1 Found an old letter sent to my Mother who was struggling to make payments on my trumpet. /pics link 183338
2 It’s just a prank guys /gifs link 96970
3 Life hack for mobile FPS games /gaming link 89969
4 One lesson /wholesomememes link 81094
5 TIL On September 8, 2009, Sgt. Dakota Meyer disobeyed a direct order to pull back from his position so he could rescue wounded soldiers from a firefight a mile away. He ended up going back five times, saving the lives of 36 soldiers, saying “That’s what you do for a brother”. /todayilearned link 79926
6 Office Perspective?! /funny link 78755
7 Loves the water, but does not know how to swim... so he's stuck in the kiddie pools /aww link 73350
8 Hope this prototype will make it to release /gaming link 66296
9 New Zealand. /pics link 70928
10 This 90 year old YouTuber used to make absolutely hilarious 'advice' videos. Sadly, last month he passed away. Here's his advice on how to get out of jury duty. /videos link 63885
11 Making that snoring bearable /BlackPeopleTwitter link 61279
12 How to get healthcare without a job /BlackPeopleTwitter link 58751
13 I recorded and overlaid my last 46 attempts at the final level of N. /gaming link 61767
14 I saw this little guy having a really comfy nap at a Sri Lankan tea estate. He seemed to be having a nice nap, completely oblivious to the light rain. /aww link 54685
15 HMB while I challenge this woman to a scull /holdmybeer link 53169
16 Everybody has their special blanket! /gifs link 49815
17 Kim Jong Un is reportedly worried that a military coup could take place while he's in Singapore /worldnews link 42930
18 Activate Defence mode /aww link 40839
19 When you cant afford photoshop so you use powerpoint instead to create memes, and it gets 10 upvotes. /PrequelMemes link 40132
20 A sliver of every single frame in every Harry Potter movie stitched together to demonstrate how the series grows progressively darker in both tone and aesthetic over time. /interestingasfuck link 43436
21 The best design award goes to.... /funny link 40014
22 Any stairway is a stairway to heaven if your clumsy enough /Showerthoughts link 39597
23 Robot submarine finds "holy grail of shipwrecks" with up to $17 billion in treasure /worldnews link 40068
24 When the queen wears green in public /whitepeoplegifs link 38987
25 Climbing into bed to make up after a fight /AnimalsBeingBros link 38660
26 When I unexpectedly run into my ex in public /HighQualityGifs link 38261
27 Old lady in Vietname gave us a boat ride and made a grasshopper out of palm leaves! /mildlyinteresting link 39284
28 to sext right away /therewasanattempt link 35947
29 The "Zoo Hypothesis" is one possible (and unsettling) solution to the Fermi Paradox, which asks "Where are all the aliens?" The zoo hypothesis suggests that humans are intentionally avoided by alien civilizations so that we can grow and evolve naturally. /space link 35498
30 Rock with a fossil in it /woahdude link 35128
31 TIL that Donkey Kong creator Miyamoto used "donkey" to convey "stubborn" in English; the name Donkey Kong was intended to convey "stubborn ape" to the American audience. When he suggested this name to Nintendo of America, he was laughed at, but the name stuck. /todayilearned link#Concept_and_creation) 35848
32 Pibbles love their scritches /Eyebleach link 35047
33 Shopping for beer /gifs link 34824
34 If Reddit is so great, why isn’t it mentioned in the Bible? /insanepeoplefacebook link 35187
35 Maximum Dad /comics link 32227
36 Weekend sleep-ins may counteract the effects of lack of sleep during weekdays - Adults under the age of 65 who get 5 or fewer hours of sleep may have a higher risk of death compared to those who get 6 or 7 hours. However, individuals who then sleep longer on weekends had no raised mortality risk. /science link 33569
37 Morgan Freeman to voice Vancouver Transit System /news link 30501
38 Your ISP now has to stop lying to you about broadband speeds - New rules around broadband advertising will usher in a depressing new era of honesty about the UK's cripplingly out-dated internet infrastructure /technology link 31918
39 Retail /BikiniBottomTwitter link 30213
40 It would be a cool feature, though. /facepalm link 30051
41 My mom received a letter from former Vice President Joe Biden. /pics link 34550
42 Winona Ryder and Christina Ricci in 1990 /OldSchoolCool link 29503
43 Boop /aww link 42039
44 Insane cosplay mask /blackmagicfuckery link 28219
45 Targét /WhitePeopleTwitter link 27953
46 In Thor: Ragnarok you can see a ship trying to escape Sakaar through one of the wormholes only to be destroyed by the falling trash Debris /MovieDetails link 27695
47 Cutting up beef /oddlysatisfying link 30050
48 Life without porn. /gifsthatkeepongiving link 28436
49 Sunrise at Monument Valley [OC] [3396 × 4245] /EarthPorn link 27188
50 This Sub Has Really Gone Down Hill. Assholes Everywhere. /keto link 28939
submitted by GraxPy to GraxPy [link] [comments]


2018.04.25 03:21 vcardthrow1 1 There are moments that loneliness surprises you and makes you want to die, doesn't it? Today it was with a kid's movie

I'm sure most of you have seen "Casper". In 1995, I was 9 or 10 and I thought Bill Pullman was handsome but I wasn't paying attention - maybe to Devon Sawa. Just a dumb remake of a cartoon. It's about Bill Puallman's paranormal psych and his teenage daughter (Christina Ricci). I think my appreciation of that soft-sensibilitied, egg headed warm and furry DILF-y type definitely grew with age.
...I was watching it today on HBO and there is a scene where the ghost of his wife (Amy Brenneman, beautiful in a red dress, radiant in her gaze, curly-haired) appears to tell him to stop seeking her, live his life with the knowledge she loves him, that he's raising their daughter well...and she reaches out to stroke his hair, an ear, the side of his face.
He gasps when she strokes him and reaches up with both hands to grasp hers, hold it to him. My pulse quickened. It sounds so silly - but it's more than having an intense crush on a bespectacled handsome actor in a movie where he plays someone lovable and nurturing.
I looked at their faces...I thought of that moment, and a man startling at my touch and reaching for me, closing his big hands around mine....I had to close my eyes as it hit me.
I've spent the last 24 hours watching it over and over and finding my eyes burning.
I'm 30 years old - I think I would have felt the same at 15 about the scene, or men. But the likelihood that tomorrow I'll wake up and be sixty and have never experienced desire sated - never really wanted something, someone - and been deemed worthy of catching it, holding on to it, or enjoying it, moment for moment, word for word - it makes me sicker and sicker every day. Every day I think about what else I'm losing with age.
Most of the time I am so tired, anxious, humiliated and ashamed about work and everything related to work. I'm lonely for companionship. But...welp, I welcome the day my sex drive will be completely dead. I'd think my own self-disgust would do the job.
Sometimes I catch a whiff of men's cologne, I'm reminded of the single nice boss I had in the last year, and I cringe - I made a fool of myself, in front of the one nice person I interacted with in the year from hell. He bathed in it. He looked like a slightly pudgier Seth McFarlane - someone for whom dating probably didn't come easy, until he made money. He had big soft hands, smelled good, was soft spoken to a stunted adult woman, and was the first boss I've ever had that didn't make me feel completely repellent. Work crushes aren't based in reality anyway - but that's loneliness and the alienation of working life does, especially if you temp. I spend 8 hours a day with strangers, get to know them, and then leave again - back to unemployment or to another shitty job where I am paid what my friends made as interns 10 years ago.
I've been alone and detached from the lives of friends, devoid of equal friendship, since I was...19. And spent all that time with horrible cystic acne and completely invisible to men. All that hunger has to focus on someone - in the last horrible two years and looking into the horrible, lonely, frightening year to come, he's one of them.
I'm so overcome at that moment with misery, wishing I could just be near him again. It's moronic. That's how alienating this life has been. Professors, groups of young people, the odd person I admire and build up in my mind as a petty hero - I never really make a positive impression on anyone and I am never prepared for the moment. The best I am is forgettable.
It is a terrible, hollow way to go through life.
Funny how FAW life works sometimes - do any of you ever ache in your hearts when you wonder how the people who make such deep impressions on us recall us?
I'm exactly who I was at as a teenager - but uglier, unhappier, and the world looks at me differently. Men do, I suppose. I am ever uglier with each year I'm alive. Some of you must know it, among you that are past 30 or so, must feel it in your bodies, see it in your faces. I do. I can eat as much as I did at 18 but it doesn't stop the spread. I'm unhealther. My body has changed shape and there are limits on what I can put it through, just to fit into my clothes. My teeth are breaking down. My jaw gets wider and wider and my face flatter and bones wear down. All for an audience. It all stands in direct mockery of these feelings. What's the point of being ugly and unwell, and still experiencing that visceral desire to be close to someone, to matter - to build a life around that? What's the point of having female desires when society teaches you the only thing more repulsive than an ugly woman is that same woman as she ages?
And thinking about love and couples, I was reminded that there are some people that can walk into a room, men or women, and 7 times out of 10, if they decide they are attracted to someone, that person will welcome it. Imagine it. Imagine looking the way you're supposed to look, being the person who can just desire someone, and have it well received. Getting to grow up and be young, that way....getting to age with the dignity of being conventionally attractive - even just average-average for your cohort. I pass such people every day in the city. Sometimes it even strikes me ho similar they look alike - skinny tall gym-toned bodies, casual polished uniform of boos, skinny jeans, expensive boots or sneakers, and department store top, hip glasses, neat hipsters all working for start-ups. Maybe banks. Young, monied, and good looking - the world is their oyster. Desire isn't a curse. It's something to be pursued and fulfilled handily.
If you're a woman of course aging diminishes the power of beauty, but still...I'd rather be one of the hot 40 year old women I pass every day who can set men in a ten year age range drooling than myself.
On then there are people like some of us - again, men and women - no one of sees them that way.It's nothing personal but it makes it no less devastating. It makes lust or loneliness or desire for romance a joke.
All of it, taken together, thinking of the cruelty of it all - it makes me so sick - physically sick, tears filling my eyes, choking up through my throat - when I was reminded by that film today. Being in love is one of the greatest causes of life. In my mind's eye, I imagine those moments and feeling completely loved by the person I share it with, holding him in my embrace, smelling him - and there's no past or future, no beginning or end. No human history, in all its cruelty. Just that. That yearning that takes you out of your own...brain. Takes you someplace else in time and space.
I know this is hysterical and rambling, but when it all hits me in an instant, my life from girlhood to the present flashes before me and I see through to the end of dying alone. All that remains is - alone where? Homeless? Friendless? Sick?
What city? What year? What will this horrible world look like, when the time comes?
I'm listening if you relate.
Life is long, my friends. It is so long, and Christ, it is cruel. I have waited from the time I was a little girl to be pretty enough, smart enough, to just...go into the world, feel what I feel about people, and not be afraid or embarrassed or feel obscene. To know what to do. To "be myself" and feel ok about it as a social creature being observed by others. I try to ignore the simple fact that that day will probably never come.
Part of being FAW and getting older is watching the world outgrow you; young, beautiful people get to be young and beautiful and enjoy things you never did in youth. Your peers (no- mine, I'm talking about me) are married off, practiced in love, and gainfully employed. Our friends drift away or look at us with pity.
If you're FAW and you're life isn't working out, what are you but a lost, overgrown teenager inside, while wrinkles set in, bodies spread and dissolve, and you repulse men? Become invisible?
I live at a remove where I am pretending most of the time, even if it's just faking being happy and eager to work when I'm actually so tired and out of it that I could put my head down on a desk and fall asleep right there. At any given moment someone could tell me I would die tomorrow and I'd feel a wave of relief wash over me - the vagabond granted shelter.
What a relief death will be, that these feelings and images will lose their power. That beauty as a blessing fate purposely decided you did not deserve will lose its sting.
submitted by vcardthrow1 to ForeverAloneWomen [link] [comments]


2018.04.14 20:33 SaintRidley 30 Days of Women's Wrestling Trailblazers Bonus! - Day 31 LuFisto, Sara Del Rey, Mercedes Martinez, MsChif, and Cheerleader Melissa

Thank you so much for reading along with the 30-day series. I have one more post for you, and it’s a bonus. Today we look at the careers of five of the most important women in modern American independent wrestling, on whose backs the real Divas/Women’s (R)Evolution began. I would also like to plug the new subreddit /QueensoftheRing for more discussion about women’s wrestling, past and present.
Prologue
All five of these women got their starts in the late 90s-early 2000s at a time when women’s wrestling in the United States was very much an endangered species. Following the collapse of the territory system, it didn’t exist but for the occasional filler match in WCW and ECW, the AWA was dead, the NWA World Women’s Championship was inactive, few of the remaining holdout territories that hadn’t folded offered anything at all, and Moolah had sold her title to the WWF. You had GLOW, POWW, LMLW, the LPWA, and WOW – all short-lived women’s promotions – holding the torch alive for women’s wrestling at a time when women’s wrestling was a falling star. The Professional Girl Wrestling Association of Penny Banner was the only long-lasting women’s organization, and mostly facilitated booking girls through other promotions. The only major promotion to sustain interest in women’s wrestling for any length of time was the WWF.
Despite that, the WWF Women’s Championship had a troubled history. There was the Original Screwjob (which frankly seems far less original when you know about Burke and Byers, but Moolah had done enough to largely erase the contributions of the women who came before her from the business). There was the deactivation of the title during Rockin Robin’s reign. There was the revival with Madusa as Alundra Blayze and the partnership with AJW, only for the division to be shuttered once again. By the close of the century, the WWF revived women’s wrestling within itself once more as little more than a booby prize, an excuse to titillate the audience by giving it to whomever Vince McMahon thought had the nicest breasts that day. This is a time when the championship was won by stripping the opponent, or wrestling in gravy, or losing a match by being stripped to your underwear (as Debra did), or by a man in drag as a joke, where at no point did the concept of wrestling seem to even factor into the picture.
The Divas division of the post-Lita and Trish era is derided as being the nadir of women’s wrestling in WWE but compared to the Attitude Era prior to the folding of WCW it would have seemed a golden age. That is what women’s wrestling was as the five women profiled today were first breaking into the business, and each of them balked and said that wasn’t for them. Each took their own path to improving the situation on the independent scene, and all five would come together at the Berwyn Eagles Club in Berwyn, Illinois, where Dave Prazak and Allison Danger made the daring attempt to start an all-women wrestling promotion in the United States that aimed to be more like AJW, GAEA, Jd’, or JWP than any American women’s promotion had ever tried to be. That promotion, SHIMMER, is still the shining star of the independent scene for women in American wrestling thirteen years later.
The following five women could very well be considered the five pillars of women’s independent wrestling in the 21st century. Without their work, as well as that of the others they’ve wrestled and trained, SHIMMER would probably not be the success story it is and women’s wrestling in America would potentially still be endangered.
LuFisto
Born on February 15, 1980 in Sorel, Quebec, Genevieve Goulet became interested in wrestling when she saw tapes of Manami Toyota, Bull Nakano, and Akira Hokuto. Luna Vachon and her unique look, however, was a much more local inspiration. After being coached through training by Pierre Marchessault and Patrick Lewis, retired wrestler Lise Raymond gave LuFisto the final pep talk that cemented everything together. LuFisto was advised to stand up for herself and never let wrestlers who didn’t want women in wrestling demean her, and that it’s “better to be a bitch and secure one’s spot than to get along with them” (Laprade and Murphy, 358).
LuFisto debuted as Lucifer in 1997, wrestling across Canada, the U.S., Europe and Japan. Over the course of these early years she became Luscious Lucy, then Precious Lucy, and finally LuFisto. She made her mark as a hardcore wrestler and was soon known as the First Lady of Hardcore, leading to an invitation to wrestle some extreme shows for Lucha Libre Femenil, before taking a two-month tour of Japan where she trained with Sara Del Rey and Kana.
Somehow, LuFisto has never been signed to a major promotion. She talked to WCW in 2000, though for obvious reasons (namely, their freefall collapse) nothing came of this. In 2009 she nearly signed with TNA, but the arrival of Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff put an end to that. LuFisto heard rumblings that it was due to her looks, as she didn’t look “enough like the Beautiful People” (Laprade and Murphy, 357). She had a tryout with TNA in 2012, and tried to enter both TNA’s Gut Check Challenge and WWE’s Tough Enough, but was passed over.
LuFisto has reason to claim responsibility for the legalization of intergender wrestling in Ontario. That began in April 2003, when a hardcore intergender tag team match she was scheduled for was cancelled due to another promoter filing a complaint with the Ontario Athletic Commission (predictably, these rules only applied to independent wrestling, as WWE had run intergender matches in Ontario without interference from the Commission). LuFisto enlisted the help of the Ontario Human Rights Commission, making the case that “the regulation in question was a violation of [her] human rights, based on [her] gender” (Laprade and Murphy, 362). On May 10, 2006, the Ontario Athletic Commission not only lifted the ban on intergender wrestling, but deregulated professional wrestling completely. OAC commissioner Ken Hayashi said of the decision:
It's been something we've been considering for a while. There's been a lot of requests from promoters for de-regulation. The bottom line is there were no real health and safety regulations (to oversee), that's the main thrust of this office. Wrestling is choreographed, pre-arranged. I think we are the only jurisdiction in Canada that still regulates it. It was just a matter of time and that time has come; we no longer regulate professional wrestling.
Of the five women profiled today, LuFisto has been wrestling the longest. Despite this, she is the only one not to be a SHIMMER original, making her debut in SHIMMER on volume 7. She’s appeared on 65 of SHIMMER’s 100 volumes (and will likely add to that number today and tomorrow as volumes 101-104 tape), and has wrestled numerous times against and alongside women like Cheerleader Melissa, Kana, Mercedes Martinez, Rain, Kellie Skater, the Canadian Ninjas, and Amazing Kong.
For the past 20 years, LuFisto has been a constant force on the independent scene, where she’s earned numerous accolades. Among her past championship accomplishments are the CZW Iron Man Championship (the first woman to win it), two reigns with the NCW International Femmes Fatales Championship, the WSU World Championship, and numerous others from smaller promotions. She’s won several tournaments, including the 2007 IWA Mid-South Queen of the Deathmatch tournament, the 2007 Sherri Memorial Cup Tournament (with partner El Generico), and the 2010 NCW Femmes Fatales Championship Tournament. Other honors include being inducted into the Association de Lutte Féminine Quebec Female Wrestling Hall of Fame and winning the 2008 CZW Best of the Best People’s Choice award. LuFisto is, at the time of writing, the current reigning Shine champion.
LuFisto suffered a stroke on April 17, 2010, but it only kept her out of the ring for a month and a half. There’s no doubt she’s one of the toughest women in professional wrestling today. She was recently diagnosed with cervical cancer. The easiest way you as a fan can help LuFisto with her medical bills (she’s Canadian, but because she is now an American citizen she has to deal with American healthcare) by visiting her website and buying merch.
Matches
NGX May 7, 2005, vs. Princesa Sugey, hardcore match
CZW November 10, 2007, vs. Sabian
ALF October 12, 2007, with El Generico vs. Misty Haven and Alex von Payton (round 1 Sensational Sherri Memorial Cup
SMASH August 18, 2013, vs. Vanessa Kraven
CZW Prelude to Violence May 31, 2014, with Kimber Lee vs. Jessicka Havok and Nevaeh
Beyond #HOGxBEYOND June 17, 2016, vs. Sonya Strong
Beyond Over-Nite Sensation December 11, 2016, vs. Kimber Lee
Beyond #Caffeine April 2, 2017, vs. Deonna Purrazzo
Beyond Feeling Minnesota April 30, 2017, with Jordynne Grace (Team PAWG) vs. Anthony Greene and Brick Mastone (ΑΣΣ)
Sara Del Rey
The Death Rey, the Queen of Wrestling, The American Angel. Sara Del Rey has gone by many names, but she was born Sara Ann Amato on November 13, 1980 in Martinez, California. She started wrestling in 2001 after being trained by Brian Danielson, and today she’s the assistant head coach in WWE’s Performance Center, being the driving force behind the rise in quality of WWE’s women’s division.
A year after her debut in 2001, Del Rey was accepted to a tour with ARSION in Japan, where she sat under the learning tree of Aja Kong and truly began to hone her craft. She wrestled in Japan and Mexico, and wound up back in the United States to take part in the first taping for Dave Prazak’s new all-women’s promotion SHIMMER, where she and Mercedes Martinez fought to a time-limit draw in their first match together. SHIMMER was at that time closely-affiliated with Ring of Honor, and Del Rey was a fixture of the nascent Women of Honor division, as well as in CHIKARA.
In SHIMMER, Del Rey was the de facto locker room leader. She was there to wrestle for the first 48 shows without missing a one before she was signed to WWE. She was the ace of the promotion, and in the words of Dave Prazak she was someone “young wrestlers looked up to” as “someone to aspire to be like because she proved that gender doesn’t have to hold one back from being a top-flight pro wrestler.”
Del Rey won the 2007 tournament to crown the first SHIMMER Champion, and in 2010 she got to have a dream match, partnering with Claudio Castagnoli against Manami Toyota and Mike Quackenbush. In 2011 she got to wrestle and defeat Aja Kong, Tsubasa Kuragaki, and Ayako Hamada. Del Rey is one of the rare few wrestlers from outside of Japan to have defeated Asuka at any point in her career, and one of only two to do it twice. And in 2012 she got the rare distinction of placing #430 in the PWI 500 after having defeated such male wrestlers as Castagnoli and El Generico (Laprade and Murphy, 408). From March to July 2012, she and Courtney Rush were the SHIMMER Tag Team Champions as the Queens of Winning, making her the first woman to have won both the SHIMMER Tag Team and singles championships.
Del Rey signed with WWE in 2012 and retired from active wrestling, taking on her current role of trainer in the Performance Center. It’s her “lifelong passion,” she told Vice. Her enduring legacy is WWE’s revived, revitalized, revolutionized women’s division.
Matches
ROH , vs. Taeler Hendrix
ROH, vs. Amazing Kong
AIW, vs. Hailey Hatred
SHIMMER June 2, 2007, vs. Lacey to crown the first SHIMMER champion
Jersey All Pro Wrestling, December 11, 2010, vs. LuFisto for the JAPW Women’s Championship
SHIMMER October 2, 2011, with Madison Eagles vs. Ayumi Kurihara and Ayako Hamada for the SHIMMER Tag Team Championship
Bonus promo segments: Sara tries to find a partner on SHIMMER volume 47
Mercedes Martinez
Born Jasmine Benitez on November 17, 1980 in Waterbury, Connecticut, Mercedes Martinez grew up as a fan of professional wrestling and was inspired by wrestlers like Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage. GLOW gained a fan in her as well. She played basketball in high school and college until she was injured and had to quit. That’s when she learned of a new pro wrestling school opened by Jason Knight (Laprade and Murphy, 244). Like LuFisto, she’s never been signed by a major promotion, though she has worked a few matches for ROH and WWE in her tenure.
Within a month of beginning her training, Martinez had her debut match in 2000, and Knight gave her the name Mercedes Martinez. She made the rounds of the New England independent circuit, impressing enough to impress Dave Prazak, who brought her in to main event SHIMMER’s first show in a time-limit draw against Sara Del Rey, the first of 69 volumes she has wrestled on for SHIMMER (possibly as many as 73 after this weekend). In 2005 and 2006 Martinez worked the indies, being a highlight of SHIMMER’s shows and in 2007 she became part of Ring of Honor’s Vulture Squad stable. She won several titles, including the NWA Midwest/IWA Mid-South Women’s Championship, the WXW Cruiserweight Championship, and the WXW Women’s Championship.
In 2006 Martinez was given a tryout with WWE in a match against Victoria, but she wasn’t what they were looking for (Laprade and Murphy, 345).
“I was told to revamp myself,” she said, in reference to the feedback the WWE road agents provided following the match. “My style was too aggressive for them – too hardcore, too strong-style. I had to tone it down and we could go from there. I didn’t want to water down myself and be something they wanted me to be when I knew what I was capable of at that time.”
So Martinez said thanks but no thanks and went back to the independents. “I don’t regret turning them down because what they wanted wasn’t right for me,” she said. If what’s going on now [a greater emphasis on athleticism and workrate] had happened 10 years ago, I believe I would have been there.”
One of Martinez’s biggest accomplishments came under Sean McCaffrey’s stewardship of Women Superstars Uncensored. She was brought in as a top star and a booker, winning the WSU championship on March 7, 2009. Martinez made many marks in history during her feud with Angel Orsini, including the first women’s bullrope match, and on June 6 in an Iron Man match. Feeling a 30 minute match would be too easy and even ho-hum, they made a 60 minute match that went into sudden death overtime, ending at a final time of ~71 minutes, officially becoming the longest women’s match ever (blowing away every the 60-minute draw in AJW and even the 63 minute no contest claimed on Mildred Burke’s behalf for her shoot with June Byers). Martinez would hold the title for three years before dropping it to Jessicka Havok, but not before breaking her own record in a title defense on August 6, 2011 against Lexxus (Impact’s Alisha Edwards) that went 73 minutes.
In 2017 Martinez was part of WWE’s Mae Young Classic, where she advanced to the semi-final before losing to a familiar face from SHIMMER: Shayna Baszler. Baszler, Martinez, and Nicole Savoy were a stable in SHIMMER at the time called Trifecta, with Martinez as the SHIMMER champion and Savoy as the Heart of SHIMMER champion, with Baszler as the extra muscle.
Following the tournament, Baszler signed with WWE, and Aja Kong was brought in as a new third member of Trifecta, with Martinez explicitly calling her the new #2 of the group, to the annoyance of Savoy. Savoy would turn on Trifecta and win the SHIMMER Championship from Martinez. Martinez unsuccessfully challenged Savoy for the title at SHIMMER 100.
Martinez is a highly decorated champion with nearly thirty championship reigns in her career. She is currently the SHINE Tag Team champion with Ivelisse as well as the WSU Champion (in her third reign). She recently lost the NCW Femmes Fatales International Championship to Vanessa Kraven and the SHIMMER Championship to Nicole Savoy.
In 2014 Martinez was inducted into the WXW Hall of Fame, and in 2017 she was inducted into the WSU Hall of Fame. In 2011 she was #2 in the PWI Female 50. She’s still going strong, as well as teaching newer wrestlers through seminars with RISE.
Matches
WWE Heat June 12, 2006, vs. Victoria (tryout match)
SHIMMER October 2, 2011 and March 17, 2012, vs. Athena (highlights from vols. 43 and 44, entirety of the match from vol. 45)
AAW November 26, 2016, vs. Kimber Lee for the SHIMMER championship
WWE Network
July 14, 2017 Mae Young Classic round of 16, vs. Princesa Sugehit
July 14, 2017 Mae Young Classic quarterfinal, vs. Abbey Laith
July 14, 2017 Mae Young Classic semifinal, vs. Shayna Baszler
Nov. 15, 2017 NXT, vs. Ember Moon
MsChif
Rachel Frobel, née Collins, was born in 1976 in St. Louis, Missouri. A microbiologist by trade, she was profiled on The Secret Life of Scientists and Engineers (here are some clips), where she revealed that her inspiration to wrestle came when a secretary asked her what she would do if she could pick any thing fun to do in life. She began training in 2000, one of only two women in her class and the only one who stuck with it past two shows.
She debuted in July 2001, and wrestled intergender matches until Daizee Haze came into the picture. The two worked each other and as partners across the Midwest independents, and in 2005 the two took part in the first SHIMMER taping. Haze wrestled Lacey in the main event while MsChif wrestled an intense brawl against Cheerleader Melissa. With her banshee scream and imposing look, MsChif by all appearances should have been the heel, but in reality she was the face of the match. In her tenure with SHIMMER, MsChif would wrestle on 52 volumes.
MsChif won the NWA World Women’s Championship from Christie Ricci in January 2007. MsChif explains that NWA promoter “Ed Chuman really wanted to kick up the women’s division and get it out into the spotlight,” perhaps an attempt to reverse some of the damage it had done to its own reputation in women’s wrestling during the early TNA years, but “unfortunately, several of the NWA promotions didn’t have a lot of money and weren’t willing to invest in women’s wrestling. It never took off quite the way Ed wanted” (Laprade and Murphy, 368).
Around this time, MsChif would say that she had no intention of going to WWE, explaining:
It’s sad to me to see talented women wrestlers go to waste because the WWE won’t really let them wrestle. Instead they use them as nothing more than sex objects. I don’t ever want to leave wrestling the way I wrestle now. I don’t want to be told what I can and can’t do.
She would lose the title to Amazing Kong in April, before winning it back on April 27, 2008, the day after she won the SHIMMER Championship from Sara Del Rey. She would hold the SHIMMER Championship for 715 days before dropping it to Madison Eagles, the longest reign with the title on record, and would hold onto the NWA World Women’s Championship for 818 days before dropping it to Tasha Simone. She was also the NWA Midwest Women’s champion for four years during this period. This time as a triple champion helped her earn her spot at #4 on the PWI Female 50 for 2009.
MsChif married Michael Elgin on July 4, 2013, and they had a child in September 2015. MsChif’s last match to date was on May 11, 2014. If she intends to return to the ring in the foreseeable future, she hasn’t said, but she has also not made any official statement of retirement. She’s not ready just yet to close the door on wrestling (Laprade and Murphy, 369).
Matches
ROH, vs. Daizee Haze, Lacey, and Ashley Lane
EWF, with Christina Eerie vs. Candice LeRae and Davina Rose
SHIMMER April 7, 2007, vs. Amazing Kong
RQW 2007, vs. Eden Black and Cheerleader Melissa for the RQW Women’s Championship
D1W June 7, 2013, vs. Crazy Mary Dobson
Cheerleader Melissa
Born Melissa Anderson on August 17, 1982 in Los Angeles, Cheerleader Melissa is a second generation wrestler. Her father, Doug Anderson, had her attending Cauliflower Alley Club banquets from the time she was a teenager. When his tag team partner opened a wrestling school in San Bernadino, she signed up at the age of 15.
She trained under the tutelage of Billy Anderson (no relation, but he was her father's tag team partner) and began touring the All Pro Wrestler circuit as a manager to the Ballard Brothers, a pair of heelish hockey players as their villainous cheerleader. She received additional training from Christopher Daniels and Brian Danielson before having her first match in 1999 on her 17th birthday, where she lost to Lexi Fyfe. She thought “Cheerleader Melissa” would be just a temporary thing, but she “realized very quickly that in the field of sports entertainment, that the name Melissa wasn’t marketable – it wasn’t catch and not getting people’s attention at all” (Laprade and Murphy, 354).
In 2002 Melissa was invited to Japan to work with ARSION, wrestling against Lioness Asuka on her 20th birthday. By 2004 her hard work was already paying off, when the Cauliflower Alley Club gave her their Future Legend Award. They weren’t wrong.
On the West coast she wrestled for ChickFight, and when SHIMMER opened its doors in 2005, she was right there on the first show, proving her heel credentials against MsChif. The most prolific wrestler for the promotion, she has wrestled on 89 volumes of SHIMMER (and likely more this weekend), most recently defeating Shotzi Blackheart at SHIMMER 100.
As far as SHIMMER goes, she wrestled the most consecutive volumes of any SHIMMER wrestler, working the first 60 volumes. She would have wrestled the first 80 straight volumes if not for having to get stitches at the hospital following a match with LuFisto on volume 60, forcing her to only appear in a run-in on 61 after rushing from the hospital to make the show in time.
Melissa would become the SHIMMER champion in 2011 by defeating Madison Eagles. She would lose it to Saraya Knight, before regaining it on April 6, 2013 by defeating Knight in SHIMMER’s first ever cage match to become the first two-time SHIMMER champion (an honor only she and Mercedes Martinez share). This helped make her #1 on the PWI Female 50 for 2013. Through her time in SHIMMER, she also became only the second American to have two pinfall victories against Kana (WWE's Asuka).
All the while, Melissa tried out for WWE in 2006, though she was passed over. She was at one point considered for a spot in WWE prior to that tryout, but nothing came of it due to a change in direction (namely, the dropping of the Muhammad Hassan character). She was originally to have been part of the Muhammed Hassan and Khosrow Daivari group, and this led to the persona she adopted when she first joined TNA in 2008 as Raisha Saeed. She managed Awesome Kong and occasionally wrestled in this role, but she was criminally underused. At some point someone in TNA realized this, so they asked her to do double duty. She debuted as Alissa Flash in 2009 and wrestled outside the niqab all while also wearing it to wrestle for and/or against Kong as well (October 20 and 21, 2009, for instance saw her wrestle as Saeed one day and Flash the next, losing to Awesome Kong and Tara, respectively). She requested her release from TNA in 2010 due to feeling underused.
In 2014 she was made president of Stardom’s American branch, responsible for booking American talent for Stardom shows. In that role she and Madusa have had many conversations relating to the struggles of being a woman in wrestling (Laprade and Murphy, 356-57).
“When I talk to Madusa, I sometimes feel like I’m talking to a version of myself from the future. We’ve had so many of the same experiences. When she worked for some of the bigger companies, she would struggle because she had trained in Japan with that style. She would wrestle and the men would be pissed that they had to follow her. I was like, ‘Oh God, you too?’”
In the middle of season 2 of Lucha Underground Melissa debuted as Mariposa. It was her first taste of a big tv production since her TNA days. She wishes everything happening in women’s wrestling right now could have happened a few years ago when she was younger, believing that women’s wrestling “is on the verge of a breakthrough” in all parts of the industry (Laprade and Murphy, 357).
Matches
WWE Heat May 26, 2006, vs. Victoria (tryout match)
Impact May 5, 2009, vs. Daffney
Impact May 27, 2009, vs. Sojo Bolt
Impact November 15, 2009, vs. Hamada
QPro February 1, 2014, vs. Joey Ryan
Lucha Underground May 4, 2016, vs. Sexy Star No Más match
DDT June 26, 2016, vs. Matt Stryker for the DDT Ironman Heavymetalweight championship
UCW May 2017, vs. Marti Daniels, Nikita LaFleur, Gabrielle Arce, Dementria, and Paradise (gauntlet match)
Sources
Clapp, John, “WWE’s Secret Weapon: How Sara Amato is changing the Divas division WWE.com (March 11, 2014)
Kreiser, Jamie Melissa, “Getting into MsChif” for SLAM! Sports (April 16, 2007)
Lacroix, Corey David “Ontario de-regulates pro wrestling” for SLAM! Sports (May 29, 2006)
Laprade, Pat and Dan Murphy, Sisterhood of the Squared Circle: The History and Rise of Women’s Wrestling (ECW Press, 2017)
Laprade, Patric, “Ten years later, Cheerleader Melissa far more than a future legend” for SLAM! Sports (June 3, 2014)
McCaffrey, Sean, “In praise of Mercedes Martinez” for SLAM! Sports (July 13, 2017)
Winkle, Luke, “The WWE’s First-Ever Female Trainer is Ushering in a New Golden Era for Women WrestlersVice (April 26, 2015)
Previously:
Minerva Cora Livingston Clara Mortensen Ida Mae Martinez Cora and Debbie Combs
Penny Banner The Beauty Pair Babs Wingo, Marva Scott, Ethel Johnson Judy Grable Jaguar Yokota
Susan Tex Green The Glamour GirlsDevil Masami Mae Weston Sandy Parker
Monster Ripper Kay Noble Vivian and Luna Vachon The Crush Gals Gladys Gillem
Beverly Shade Evelyn Stevens Sensational Sherri Princess Little Cloud Dump Matsumoto
Nell Stewart Lola Gonzalez Manami Toyota June Byers Mildred Burke
submitted by SaintRidley to SquaredCircle [link] [comments]


2017.10.11 13:52 gazella47X Kim Jung Un conspires to ruin the Elio experience

Last week, Elio was telling us how is easy would be to buy one of their cars. Can't hardly be any easier than never building any to be bought, but I digress. Hyundai is overhauling it's sales process and is implementing a four point plan to make the buying experience more pleasant.
point 1: "Post the fair market pricing on the dealer websites, so the customer knows exactly what the market pricing is for the vehicle." I believe that EMI's plan was to just charge everyone the same price, no haggling allowed.
point2: "Customers are given the option to conduct a test drive for any new vehicle by arranging for the vehicle to be at a location of the customer’s choosing, such as their home, their office or a coffee shop." Elio missed an opportunity to pretend they were doing me a favor here. This was the way it was done up through the Sixties, and about ten years ago when GM was really hurting they let you take the car for a whole day.
point3: "Reduce the time customers spend at the dealer by allowing car buyers to complete most of the paperwork online prior to visiting the dealership" EMI was telling us about how clever they were to think of this. Korea said 'all your bases are belong to us'.
point4: "Any customer who is not satisfied with their purchase is given a three-day buy back period to return the car for a full refund, contingent upon the vehicle having fewer than 300 miles since the purchase/lease date." This is a no-brainer for EMI as the car would already be back at the dealer after the fenders fell off at the two hundred mile mark. Current Elio owners would be satisfied with a full refund of their reservation, since we all know your chance of being able to buy an Elio is roughly equal to coming home to Christina Ricci in your shower.
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2017.06.12 19:31 party_daz Voting for the 2017 Emmy nominations begins today. What shows, actresses and actors would you like to see get nominated?

The 69th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards will honor the best in U.S. prime time television programming from June 1, 2016 until May 31, 2017. Nomination voting began on Monday June 12 (today) and will end on Monday June 26. The final nominees will be announced on July 13 and the ceremony will be held on Sunday, September 17, 2017.
so yea, the Emmy season is upon us. And I've seen enough Television in the past year to give my own opinionated suggestions on what the Emmy's nomination list should look like, so why not?

Outstanding Drama Series

Outstanding Lead/Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Outstanding Lead/Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
Outstanding Directing/Writing for a Drama Series
Outstanding Cinematography for a Single-Camera Series

Outstanding Comedy Series

Outstanding Lead/Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Outstanding Lead/Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Outstanding Directing/Writing for a Comedy Series

Outstanding Limited Series

Outstanding Lead/Supporting Actress in a Limited Series
Outstanding Lead/Supporting Actor in a Limited Series
Outstanding Directing/Writing for a Limited Series
Outstanding Cinematography for a Limited Series

Outstanding Animated Program

Main Title Design

well, I can't do all the categories since they're so many, so here are some pointers i'd like to add:
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2017.06.06 22:46 newthrooawayyy Contacting Influencers and Celebrities, Phase II

Dear Senates,
Thank you so much for the overwhelming response to Phase I and to kanda_92, StariNight69, CaptainGreezy, mjaybe, Kaffeebohnson, simkaspruce, rangerpax, and cameron_quickdraw for adding to the list and for their contributions to organization.
Thank you to nosebleed22, PopeJP22, jesstheblessedmess, MissUrchin, NynaAndromeda, kacypup, MjSpyt777, lydiasmartin, kronch, edwintou, Mataxor, 404GravitasNotFound, rangerpax, WildRaphy, jayyyemmm, smpower8, vajochamp, mpc9, and klutzkoala for contributing to the list and expressing support.
If I accidentally missed anybody, know that you are also appreciated!
The task at hand right now is how to organize our Twitter outreach to influencers. As a starting point, we may:
  1. Decide on a day to start the Tweet campaign.
  2. Increase our numbers by recruiting on other social media platforms dedicated to Sense8.
  3. Coordinate days to tweet at specific celebrities.
We should make those who have connections to the Wachowskis and/or have already tweeted support for Sense8 in the past our biggest priority, but please post your own suggestions as well and let the Cluster decide.
The list is reprinted below, and as the evening and next day goes on, I will be adding dates next to the names.
Edit 1: Sensates, I am setting the tentative start date for 6/8. Each day will have one person from the Wachowski/JMS list and one person from the LGBT-friendly list from Phase I. This is to express our wish that any show revival be directed by the original creators only in order to preserve its original social and artistic vision. Please feel free to comment!
From StariNight69's suggestion, please repost this thread and the one before it throughout the interwebs to increase our numbers.
Again, thank you so very much for all the interest! Feel free to suggest more names as well, although since we have a long list already, these will be added into the schedule for the following thirty days.
------------------------------------------------
Note: Those who don't have an official page on Twitter (does not tweet) may have Twitter fanpages or other social media. Feel free to add those in as well.
Sense8 Pages
Sense8 Main Cast
Twitter Campaign Calendar (Preliminary)
Thank you for the suggestion, simkaspruce.
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2017.04.14 02:53 IamMatlock Official Weekly Summary (Apr 6 - Apr 13, 2017)

Weekly Summary (Apr 6 - Apr 13, 2017)
Unresolved Mysteries
Thanks for all the nice feedback. I’ve included some summaries I wrote last week but forgot to post. Unfortunately, I left out a number of stories because of limited time and real life obligations. Please explore those stories I missed and let me know if you find any mistakes in my update. ✌
Chag Sameach. Happy Easter! 🐰 Wishing you all a very safe holiday weekend.
Last week's summary (March 29-April 5, 2017)
UPDATES
THE MISSING
UNSOLVED (& UNUSUAL) DEATHS
THE UNIDENTIFIED (JOHN DOE)
BIZARRE, PARANORMAL, & UFOs
THE ACCUSED
ARTICLES & OTHER STUFF
ASK THE SLEUTHS
References
The Charley Project
Unresolved Mysteries
Wikipedia
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2017.01.27 09:38 NicholasCajun Z: The Beginning of Everything - Series Premiere Discussion

Premise: The life of Zelda Fitzgerald (Christina Ricci) is chronicled from her first meeting with F. Scott (Gavin Stenhouse in the pilot and David Hoflin in the rest of the season) in 1918 in the drama series based on the novel by Therese Anne Fowler.
Subreddit: Network: Premiere date: Metacritic:
? Amazon January 26th, 2017 59/100
Cast:
Links:
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2015.09.01 10:23 Uptomyknees a bad encounter with an actress at a casting agency

Los Angeles is full of ghosts.
It makes sense, of course, that it would be a graveyard. The city was constructed in such a haphazard lego-brick way that there’s a tremendous amount of dead space between the iconic, bustling parts of town. It’s really the first “20th Century” metropolis; people don’t realize, or maybe just don’t remember, that up until the 1960s the majority of the city was still just orange groves.
And you see the ghosts in other places too. Downtown is filled with marquees that used to belong to movie theaters; wandering inside them, you’ll find any number of bizarre hollowed out buildings, thrift stores, counterfeit merchandise being sold fresh from the docks in Long Beach. Want Ed Harvey (sic) brand shirts? They got ’em. You can’t help but wonder looking at them what it was like to actually go to a movie here, in what’s now an imponderously large cheap chinese restaurant.
Cause that’s the thing about the ghosts of LA; they’re not gossamer. They’re not illusory. They’re right out in the open, there for anyone to see. They’re ghosts you can take a picture of with your iPhone.
Your teeth are sharper than you think they are.
feel them with your tongue right now
they’re sharp
As a young screenwriter, I was still learning the ropes.
I didn’t understand yet that half the job of a screenwriter is social; how easy it is to communicate with you, how well you’re able to communicate back. But I was learning quick: I was 23, and people had enjoyed my script Hometown Hero. It didn’t sell, but got me a round of what are called "general meetings."
General meetings are always awkward; they’re almost like dates. You go in and meet with one or two people at a production company, people you’ve never met before, people you might not even like personally, just like a job interview…But there’s no job to get. Your only real “job” in these meetings is to make a good impression, which is completely hit or miss; there’s no pattern to learn, every meeting is as different as the people in the room.
Did you know that there are four small arteries that run through the human tongue?
bite down on your tongue right now for me, gently
What’s even more disorienting is that everyone’s just as desperate as you are; a lot of these production companies you’re meeting with are constantly in debt, or having projects fall apart, or finding themselves with failures or movies that didn’t go the way they thought they would. So there’s a sense of confrontation; do I need you? Do you need me? You feel kind of lost the whole time, especially at the beginning.
I personally loved the experience. I was working on two new scripts, “The Goodtime Gang” and “Chronicle,” and very excited about both. I love talking about my work, and in my life up to this point, hadn’t had much opportunity to do so. I get very excited and worked up when I talk about projects I’m working on, and this was the first time in my life I’d been able to do that in front of other people. I’m an insecure guy, who had spent a lot of time as an outcast, so the idea that people would be interested in my stories was incredibly exciting to me.
For this reason, I approached every meeting like an adventure. I began wearing ties and button up shirts, generally brightly colored, as a method of separating myself visually from other writers, who generally wore grays and blacks from what I’d seen. I had it in my mind that I would become a well known screenwriter, and that this would lead to happiness, acceptance and excitement.
I look back now and think, “what a toxically naive person.” I had connected my career to personal happiness. You can’t do this in LA. The business doesn’t make sense. Of course, you will do it. You can’t help yourself. When you have a dream, and you can see its outline on the horizon, you start to delude yourself by looking for patterns, or worse, you start to believe in “fate” or “destiny.” I’ve seen it a hundred times, maybe a thousand: people start to, for reasons I don’t really understand, believe that things are guaranteed to them.
You see it in the rich, you see it in the poor. As a guy who hangs out with a varied array of people, I see my friends on the poverty line just as deluded and desperate as my friends who grew up in mansions. But there’s that falseness to the hope. You can always feel the desperation.
I had never seen that much blood before.
i think it’s because blood mixes with spit, but I could see it pumping out
Actors and actresses also take general meetings. For them, it’s even more pointless; just a place to awkwardly chit chat, try to show off their talent; for some actresses, a place to flirt. For some actors, too. Just be memorable. Just please remember me. Same as us writers. I promise you I’m talented. I promise you I can do it, whatever it is, that thing you want, I can do it, I can play that role or write that story or anything you want just please don’t send me back out onto the freeway from the west side into that traffic with nothing.
everyone starts out with an innocent version of the dream; they’re not cynical yet, even if they think they are
Just please, please, please remember me.
please remember me
remember me
I’d never been to that part of Burbank. It was nestled against the hill, just over the mountain pass LA natives refer to as “the Barham Bump,” that drops you off at Warner Brothers, itself just a shadow of what it used to be. The current Warner Lot is 1/4 the size of its previous incarnations.
I was really pumped up for this meeting. It was with a production company called, I believe called Mandalay. I’d made some new friends the night prior, and was finally settling into my life in Los Angeles. These daily meetings made me feel like I had a real job, or at least, the beginnings of one.
I remember my GPS had been acting funny. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to go to the new looking office building, or down the road alongside it, to a 1920s style petit chateau. This style was all the rage in the 20s and 30s in LA, during the early days of Hollywood; you still see them sitting between the blocky monstrosities the 70s and 80s brought to the Valley.
I took a risk, and parked at the chateau. There didn’t seem to be any signs, but I could already see someone waiting out front. Mainly, I saw her legs; long and tan and hey, I’m ten minutes early, even if this is the wrong building, I’m single, I’m 24, why not.
when you get fresh blood on you it’s warm
i always thought that was just poetry but its warm and it smells and it makes you gag
I parked and walked up. Bright blue eyes raised to meet me, and I was surprised to see she wore no make up. She had one of those too round faces; that Clara Bow, Christina Ricci style of beauty where at first you’re not sure what you’re looking at. She wore a simple sundress and and a frilled hat; the whole image, her there, looking like that, in those clothes, on the porch: I felt like I was looking through a window straight into 1920s hollywood. It being in color felt wrong.
I laughed aloud.
“Sorry, I wish you could see what I’m seeing right now.”
“Are you laughing at me?”
“No, it’s just- you look like you’re from the twenties, it’s very surreal.”
“Oh, yes.” She said matter of factly, and looked over to the door.
I glanced at the door and could see that there was a young man inside, frantically talking on a cell phone, looking out at her; tucked, button pink shirt, short hair. He looked upset.
“Is this Mandalay?”
“I’m going to die out here I just know it.” She responded.
I didn’t know how to react. She shivered, and hugged herself tightly, one of her dresses’ straps falling, and casually exposing her left breast. I stared, startled, and the slow programming of my male brain began to register things that small, lean body and pleasant round face had initially hidden from me.
She wore no shoes. The bottoms of her feet were incredibly dirty, and her toenails were bleeding in several places, one of them looking badly torn. There was no underwear under her dress, either; she had that posture women get when they’re drunk, or under other influences, where they lose track of what they should be trying to keep covered. I immediately became concerned.
“Are you alright?” I said, trying to decide on a proper course of action.
“I’m going to be an actress.” She responded. “I walked from home.”
“Oh, where’s home?”
“I’m living in my friend’s car, we drove together from San Antonio.” She looked distractedly at the door, and shivered again. “I feel so crazy, you know how you can just get worked up when people don’t listen to you. I just get so worked up. I walked from home, you know? I’m going to be an actress, the fucker.”
At that, she produced an old flip phone, its screen cracked, and hurled it at the door; it exploded into pieces, and an older woman called down to me from the second level.
“Sir, turn around and go. She’s having some sort of problem, just leave her alone, she’s fucking crazy, just turn around and go.” The girl moaned, hanging her head between her knees, and adjusted her dress.
“I don’t know where to break in, you know? Maybe if I’d fucking gotten a better…FRIEND, ha!” She said, and looked directly at me. “I’m an actress, I’m a good actress. I can memorize it all. I think it doesn’t matter. No one cares. No one cares. There’s a thousand good actresses. I could fucking die. I’m going to die out here just like Emma did fucking die with herpes on my mouth and someone’s shit on me, like Emma.”
“Who’s Emma?” I said. I don’t know what my plan was. She didn’t respond, but suddenly stood bolt upright, and walked towards me, pointing.
“What’s your name? What’s your name?”
“Max.”
“What do you do, are you an actor?”
“No, I’m a writer.”
“Good, good.” She drew out from her sundress a packet of cards; I flinched as she brought them up. They were business cards. There was a single photo of her on them, and she shoved the whole packet of them into my hands.
“Take these. Watch this, okay, tell your friends about this.” She stuck out her tongue, long and pink and wet between those big pouting lips, and chomped down onto it exactly three times, one, two, three. The first bite elicited a squirt of blood. The second left it hanging half off, blood now squirting in two directions from her face. The third severed it.
The tongue fell onto the dusty dirt driveway. I remember being surprised at how heavy it sounded. She stared at me, a look of wild victory in her eyes, and then the look faded away. She was only a couple feet away now, and I’m ashamed to say I was frozen to the spot. Her face transitioned from victory to shock; she seemed in a moment to realize the permanence of what she’d done, and attempted to speak:
“Muh mow iz fuhl oh bluhh.”
Blood sprayed out onto me as she spoke, the stump of her tongue twitching and trying to move, and I cringed, watching as she fell to her knees and began crawling around, trying to find the tongue, screaming and gurgling. Both of her breasts spilled out of the dress as she crawled, blood pouring down onto them, so much blood it looked black, spreading and staining the small yellow sundress.
I saw her pick up the tongue and hold it, screaming. And screaming. And screaming.
I turned around and walked away from her, and heard her get up and run towards me. I screamed and went to my car, only to turn and see that she’d fallen into the gravel and dirt, the dress now completely off, tangled around her legs, her body a wash of dust and blood, little rocks embedded in her kneecaps where she’d fallen.
The police arrived shortly thereafter. I’ll never forget how confused she looked when they came to take her away, all pale, sitting in a pile, crying, not moving, not fighting back.
I still have the cards. They say TEXAS’ OWN RIANNE TAYLOR-LEWIS - ACTRESS - MODEL - CURRENTLY UNSIGNED! - AVAILABLE FOR ENGAGEMENTS/EXTRA WORK/ANYTHING!!! CALL/EMAIL, and then a little thumbnail photo of her face.
I remember that face so well. One time I took a card and drew on it with a red sharpie. So it matched my memory.
I remember you, Rianne. I remember you.
I keep them in a drawer in my room.
Some nights, when it’s dark in my apartment, I'll hear what sounds like footsteps on the stairs.
And I think you’re coming to get them back.
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